Rich men dating agency
I Was a Real-Life "Sugar Baby" for Wealthy Men
I 'm the tall brunette in the romper," I texted from the lobby of the Ritz-Carlton.
I felt a tap on my shoulder. "Nice outfit. I'm Rich."
The 65-year-old business executive looked old but well preserved. After martinis and a cheese plate, we got a room—Rich undressed, I de-rompered. We popped champagne, toasted in the Jacuzzi, and dried off.
On my way out, Rich slipped an envelope in my purse. "Your allowance, babe."
"Thanks, daddy," I replied, counting five crisp hundreds.
I met Rich through SeekingArrangement.com, a dating website that matched wealthy, successful older men, called "Sugar Daddies," with attractive, open-minded young women, AKA "Sugar Babies." Prospective Sugar People filled out a profile, on which Daddies stated their net worth and income, and Babies could indicate a desired monthly allowance, averaging $3,000. For the gentleman of means, a mutually beneficial arrangement provided no-strings-attached companionship, much like The Girlfriend Experience—Starz's provocative new series starring Elvis Presley's granddaughter Riley Keogh. Its story of a savvy yet detached student turned high-end call girl is, essentially, my own.
From the start, I was an unlikely candidate for the site: a quirky girl-next-door type with the face of a nun. My two younger sisters and I enjoyed an upper-middle class upbringing in a Massachusetts suburb. My father, raised Jewish, was a lawyer-turned-entrepreneur. My mother, a product of stoic British parenting, taught first grade. I attended an all-girls prep school and later Tufts University, where I double majored (in child development and Chinese) and played oboe in wind ensemble.
"I juggled 30 different men between the ages of 42 and 75, and made close to $300,000 in total."
In truth, I was flailing. Depressed and bulimic, I felt stuck, unmotivated, dragging my body through ritualistic motions. With graduation approaching, I'd secured an entry-level office position and felt grateful given the dismal job market in 2011. But the question of how I wanted to spend my life, personally and professionally, posed a daunting dilemma.
Throughout college, I'd rarely dated. For four years, I'd shared a platonic bed with my gay best friend. Lately, he was busy exploring the Boston nightlife scene and all Grindr had to offer. I often found myself sleeping alone.
Half joking and half desperate, I Googled the phrase "Sugar Daddy" and stumbled upon Seeking Arrangement, unlocking a world of generous benefactors, willing to finance my aimless existence. From age 22 to 26, I juggled 30 different men between the ages of 42 and 75, and made close to $300,000 in total.
Rich was the first to message: "Nice clavicle," he wrote, referencing my anonymously-cropped profile photo—much akin to that of Keogh's character in the series. I'd envisioned opera tickets, spa treatments, new jumpsuits for my fall wardrobe. Straight up cash, though, was a sweet surprise.
"That was the easiest $500 I've ever made," I boasted to my roommate, who was working for $10 an hour as a research assistant.
I was astounded to realize I could get paid to wear a slinky dress, sip cocktails, and chat, just as I'd done for free with guys my age. I thought back to one particularly cute guy I'd met through OkCupid: tan, toned, and 27. We'd dined at the local Pizzeria Uno's. Afterwards, I went back to his place for sex—a fair trade, I thought. For two vodka cranberries and a flatbread, it seemed natural to return the favor.
That's the thing though: Seeking Arrangement was just like OkCupid—but for money.
I never saw Rich again, but after our tryst I was hooked on the site. I loved the naughty thrill and instant high of dating-for-profit. Sifting through my messages, I scheduled a new potential suitor for each night that week: a lawyer on Tuesday, professor for Wednesday, neurosurgeon on Thursday. Friday, I met a software engineer with a foot fetish.
Sex was never a requirement on Seeking Arrangement, though I found it was often the main aspiration for these men. I didn't hate intercourse; it felt like exercise—sweaty and cardiovascular. I capitalized on my indifference. With nothing at stake for me emotionally, money replaced the pursuit of pleasure. It was an incentive—a tangible, guaranteed reward in exchange for my consent.
I jibed well with the daddy demographic. Tendril-haired with a praying mantis physique, I was not the standard beauty; but these men saw my youth as a novelty—a fantasy.
Thanks to my lucrative exploits, I was able to move to New York after graduation and pursue many ventures: I tried internships, enrolled in a film course, and performed off-Broadway. In my spare time, I cultivated tomato plants, beat every level of Candy Crush, and taught Zumba to the elderly—sleeping with rich men who treated me like their paid princess was my secret second life.
Updating my zip code on Seeking Arrangement, I spent weekends at the Plaza with one affluent senior citizen and visited another after my weekly puppet-making class. Dating Sugar Daddies felt like a natural, preferable alternative to submitting to marriage or a stressful career. It was a life hack—a loophole in our society, one area in which young women could capitalize.
"It was a life hack—a loophole in our society, one area in which young women could capitalize."
At reunion events, friends from my all-girls' school listened intently as I regaled them with tales from the Sugar Bowl, as I called it, a welcome respite from their jobs working 9-5 in human resources. The story of the 42-year-old quadriplegic, whose virginity I had the pleasure of taking for $1,000, was a crowd favorite.
"Are you dealing drugs?" asked my (real) father. Aware I'd quit my day job, he was confused about the source of my mysterious cash flow. He'd taught me not to depend on a husband for financial support—in a way, I was following his advice. Banking on my feminine appeal, I felt like an independent woman, not tied down or trapped by one partner.
Eventually, I decided just to come clean. My parents weren't thrilled to hear about my entrepreneurial dating methods, but they accepted my choices. After my depression and eating disorders, they were relieved I was functioning—grateful that I was even alive.
"We just want you to be happy," said my mother.
Grandma was more enthusiastic. "Why didn't I think of that when I was your age? I had very nice legs." (I loved that broad.)
Yet my father's words pained me: "I'm sorry I couldn't give you everything you wanted," he said.
Really, he had. "None of this is your fault, Dad. I don't know why I'm doing it. I'm trying to figure it out. I just want you to be proud of me. I'm sorry."
I felt undeserving.
Three months later, back in New York, I was seeing no one. I was hopeful about returning to school, but without the Daddies I lacked direction. They were supposed to be a means to an end, but I still felt lost, devoid of ambition or any clear idea of what I wanted. For me, sex work had become a means of stalling—the ultimate distraction, vocationally and intimately. I turned to therapy for insight.
"What would bring a nice, college-educated young woman to have sex for money?" asked the shrink.
"Besides money?" I replied. He was not amused.
"What happened to your spirit?" he continued. "What broke, and when?"
I believed I'd acted deliberately, pragmatically, as a conscious adult. Becoming a Sugar Baby was not the path I'd envisioned for myself, but I viewed it as part of my journey to a life of stability—and human connection.
Still, as more time passed, I couldn't help but feel haunted by what I was giving away. Every time I saw couples together I wondered, why don't I want to share my life with someone? I feared something was wrong with me—I didn't have this desire for emotional connection. Having sex for money had become a way for me to participate in this realm of intimacy, because otherwise I wouldn't have wanted to have it at all.
In therapy, I finally confessed the source of my brokenness: At age 15, I was sitting next to my grandfather at dinner and felt his hand on my bare thigh. When I'd mentioned this to my mother later that night, she froze.
"That's why I never left you alone with him when you were little," she said. "He did things, when I was growing up—."
As a small child, I'd learned that the closer I was with him, the more gifts he'd bring me: Cadbury eggs, Madame Alexander dolls, raspberry candies in little round tins. Everything seemed innocent to me then, even when it wasn't.
Acknowledging this confusing part of my past was important for my own self-understanding. Yet I didn't want to make excuses for my actions, nor did I wish to confirm the malformed notion that sex work was inherently pathological. Whether or not we make choices based on events that occurred in childhood, we certainly do act in reaction to our immediate situation and environment: Mine was hookup culture. Hesitant about returning to OkCupid, I logged back onto Seeking Arrangement to check my inbox.
"The story of the 42-year-old quadriplegic, whose virginity I had the pleasure of taking for $1,000, was a crowd favorite."
"Yes," I replied, accepting the 45-year-old Wall Street trader's proposition.
After tapas and drinks, we retreated to his apartment, sipped Merlot on the chaise lounge and, sufficiently aroused, progressed to the bedroom. I never truly looked at these men naked, but now I couldn't ignore the dad bod.
"No panties," he noted while caressing me. "I like that."
"That's what's great about rompers—a whole outfit all in one." I let the garment slide off me, as nonchalant as removing my shoes.
Sex had become automatic—a mundane ritual. But this time I couldn't zone out the way I used to. After what felt like hours, I stood up and started getting dressed, thankful I could leave.
"I don't get it—what's wrong with you?" the Daddy asked.
"There's nothing wrong with me," I told him. "Good night."
At first I was angry with myself for not collecting my allowance. But I didn't care anymore. I could no longer carry on as I had, sleeping with men I wasn't attracted to, switching off my feelings as though I were two separate people. It seemed in selling my body I was trying to reclaim control, however false and fleeting. That's when I quit.
It was true—I viewed sex as a performance. I'd been playing a role. I'd always had personal agency—to join Seeking Arrangement's website, to sleep with the Daddies, to accept their money, and finally, to walk away.
Later that night, I unpacked boxes in my studio apartment. Graduate school classes began the next day. This time, I craved something more substantial than sugar.
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Are You Crazy Enough To Marry A Russian Woman?
Our Russian Dating Scam Guide
Dating scams are most of the time organized by men pretending to be Russian women seeking love!
Do not think a Russian woman will fall in love with you after 2 weeks. Scam artists do!
Please, do yourself a big favor and read this whole Antiscam mini guide, it can save you from a lot of emotional damage and financial problems.
The U.S. Embassy receives reports almost every day of fraud committed against U.S. citizens by Internet correspondents professing love and romantic interest. But if you are not a an U.S. Citizen, then this warning counts for any person from any country who wants to contact a Russian woman with the purpose for romance! This is why we have created this topic
Never send money to a woman listed in any kind of internet dating or matchmaking agency, if she asks for it. Report any suspicious cases related to this rule.
Tips and information why Russian brides can't get business or tourist visas to enter the United States
. I always think about our meeting. By the way I know a travel agency here, that can organize the trip to your country very quickly. They make visa, foreign passport, buy the tickets and even find a hotel where I can stay. I think it will be a good idea to use the service of this agency. What do you think about it?.".
If yes, then stop! if no, then put these words right above your computer, in case you will receive a letter similar like this.
When to be careful or even suspicious
(these indicated signs are not enough to protect yourself from being scammed, they are just some possible red-flags. Please read the whole topic about dating scams)
The person is contacting 'you' (most of the scammers look for their 'victim' on (free) post-your-profile dating sites where men and women freely can post their ad without being checked/verified by a human being).
The person starts to use 'popular language' to impress you.
The person writes in pretty well English
The person falls in love with you (very quick and sometimes even within 2, 3 weeks).
The person wants to visit you (which is NOT possible for at least US & Canada and for other western countries without personal involvement of your country's Embassy).
The person lost her job or needs medical support and needs money.
The person uses an Internet café and needs money (sometimes the 'manager' of a Internet café is even contacting you to help her).
The person has no postal address or phone number to reach her. Question about personal information that you can verify are not very welcome and she will try to avoid or ignore those questions, or tell you that this is not important for you to know.
The person is avoiding or not answering your specific questions (which you ask to know her better). If you ask specific questions and the person doesn't want to answer them, the person often starts to ask new questions in return, with the purpose to change the subject (that the person doesn't want to talk about).
The person will be offended or feels insulted when asking personal questions or 'proof' that can lead to her real identification.
The person avoids the subject to meet her in her country or tells you that she can better visit you.
The 'person'(*) needs more money for her (magic) visa (or tickets) to visit you because her own savings are not enough and a 'friendly' local travel office can help her with that. (Single Russian women NEVER can get a visa without your personal involvement and NEVER can get a visa to travel to (for example) the US as a tourist. Magic visa's are not existing!)
(*) I use on purpose the words 'the person', because most of these 'scammers' are men pretending to be Russian woman and who are using stolen photo's from professional models or women from real agencies.
There are so many single beautiful women and so many Dating Agencies. Are they all real and above all, reliable?
In general I can say, Yes!, more specific I can say for 99.5% (according to reliable sources). But this still means that it could be possible to come across one of the 0.5%. For example, some web sites have over 20.000 profiles, however this is not a reason to find any scam inside this Agency, it only gives you an impression how many profiles you can find on the 'entire' web.
So, the chance is present, but if you prepare yourself in a proper way, the risk of being scammed can be reduced to almost zero.
One of my favorite quoted expression is:
"By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail." (Benjamin Franklin - 1706-1790)
A single person (or criminal organization) who use pictures and biography information of non-existing women who deliberately wants to swindle you.
A criminal organization that exposes themselves as a 'real' Dating Agency that deliberately wants to swindle you.
But there are also many variants, that are 'close' to swindle practices, but not (yet) labeled as real illegal organizations. These are organizations that will use methods to keep you as long as possible as a paid customer, or those who ask far too much money for their services. or those that insist in a aggressive way to buy products or services from them which you never need. And you, blind of love, thinking about that beautiful young woman, are an easy potential victim for them. From a legal point of view they are no swindlers, but from my personal view they are.
Just read everything of this topic, follow my advises, suggestions, remember my information, print it out or come back now and then, but visit also my recommended resources, including my recommendations to provide yourself with tools or services that are created by professionals.
Here are some tips to start with, these tips are an extract of parts of the subjects described in this topic.
Do not use any free dating site where women can contact you first. These sites are the hot-beds of dating scammers. Any person can signup here complete anonymous (use any free email address and fake personal information). Even when you have to pay to be a member (for receiving emails) on these free dating sites, don't use it if you are serious in looking for a new life partner. Only use real, professional and verifiable agencies.
Check the agency
If you visit the website of some Dating Agency, try to read all the information about this website before you start to browse through the ad's. Perhaps their introduction or 'About-Us' pages or other relevant pages could give you some background information of this specific Dating Agency, which could give you a 'good' or perhaps 'wrong' feeling about this site and their services. Also try to find out if they are a member of the Anti Scam Program. You can also first visit our recommended agencies that you can find in this topic.
Write a detailed introduction letter (preferable translated in Russian), to receive a detailed reply of the woman
If you write your Russian lady for the first (introduction letter) time, please write a detailed letter about yourself. For the woman it's important to see that the man who is writing to her is serious about finding a new partner. To be very serious in your intentions and to be very open to her, gives you a response which you can analyze as reliable or not. Important is to see how your mutual correspondence is developing, about what kind of subjects you both are talking.
But if the woman starts (in an early state) with questions concerning money, for any kind of reason, than you have to be careful and you have to analyze if these questions has anything to do with the situation you and your correspondent are aware of. Try to find out if her letters to you are very personal and don't look like standard generated letters.
Ask specific questions and check if you receive answers on these questions
In case you are using an Agency with email forwarding or other mail-services, and your correspondent is not responding on your specific personal questions, this could be a sign of being suspicious. Another important thing is to confirm with her if your (original) letters indeed are reaching her. Try to send copies of your original letters using postal mail or a fax machine at her office (if possible) and ask her if these letters are the same she received through the Dating Agency you are using. I know examples that some Dating Agencies, with this kind of services, can create additional questions or add more text to your letters or even change your letters, just for the reason to keep you as long as possible as their customer. One of the most important thing is to try to get her on the phone now and then, in this way you can confirm your and her letters to each other.
Read our complete topic about dating scams
Read our complete information page about Dating scams and related topics. You will learn more about the Russian-women- dating-world in common. Being prepared is being halfway your success in finding you Russian lady.
Use only 100% reliable agencies
If you are really looking for absolute reliable, professional Agencies which covers all the needs you have related to finding a Russian woman, then we highly recommend you the most reliable Agency you can find in this business. We are a European representative of Elenas Models. You will feel very comfortable after reading the backgrounds of this agency. After finishing reading all the information of her site, you can start to look for your Russian dream without any risk, the only risk you will have is that some beautiful Russian woman will fall in love with you!
Always show your honesty to her
Always show your honesty first to her. Don't think they will trust you right away after your first contact to her. Dating Scams not only overcome men, but also to many women. Unfortunately there are also men who are trying unwanted approaches to the woman and sometimes these approaches are going very far.
How can I check if she is real
For you and your girlfriend it's important to know if you both are 'real'. Not only for you, but for the woman you are writing this is important too. At some specific stage during your correspondence there will be a moment that you (or she) will ask yourself, 'is she/he real or not' . We receive many letters with questions 'how can I check or get proof that the lady I am writing is true and/or honest'. There are many ways to do this, but most of these ways will cost you money too. But better spending some money for a background check then multiple times for 'nothing' and a lot of frustration and disappointment.
But one thing you can first do by yourself, just tell her (not during your first or second letter to her!) that you will send a (scanned) copy of your passport to her, just to show her your trust to her and ask her to do the same for you and explain to her, that by doing this, you both will have a more comfortable feeling about your new relationship. It is better that you take this initiative to first send your copy of your passport, in this way she will have no reason to believe to be insulted by asking only her copy of her passport. If she did send you pictures of her, then she also can send you a scanned copy of her passport. Using this tip, you can at least compare her pictures with the picture on her passport and will see her real address and birth date, that is printed in her passport. This kind of 'proof' is not 100%, but it is a start and it is always good to know to see how her reaction will be if you ask her to do this. People who indeed are trying to fraud you, will give you at least a suspicious reaction to your question. In this world, it is quite normal to identify ourselves during official situations, so what's the problem to identify yourself in this situation?
Don't get paranoid
Don't get paranoid about this, just be careful and use your common sense.. Like I started this subject, it's just a minority who will try to play (financial) tricks with you. If you want to read more about this subject, then continue reading our this article about Dating scams or visit the links in this page and you will read many interesting and useful topics about this matter.
Internet (dating) Scams, what is this, how big is the risk, can this happen to me, how to prevent this. All questions thousands of people and more ask themselves.In any kind of internet business (where money is involved) there are certain risks what we call in general Internet scam or fraud. In this topic we only are talking about scams in the Internet Dating and Marriage-world.
"Trying to get or steal money from people, or misuse you to get a staying permit (green card) under false pretexts, using misinformation, deception, fraud or even (emotional) blackmail"
When you are looking for a (Russian) woman you have to deal with many situations where (your) money can be involved.
It already starts from the beginning of your search process till the moment you will meet her for the first time and until the moment you are starting a procedure to get your fiancée to your country.
Please, be very careful when you want to spend money 'outside' reliable and verifiable services. In any case, never send money to a individual or single person you don't now or never have met in person.
In any kind of the above products, there will be ‘organizations’ that will try to let you pay 2 or 3 times more than necessary. In the worst case, there will be ‘organizations’ or individuals that will try to sell you just ‘clean air’, if you know what I mean. In other words, you pay a lot of money with your credit card or Western Union money transfer service and you will receive…nothing!
Your fiancée or girlfriend has also to deal with (official) matters, that will be new and unknown for her, and in Russia there are many, many people who are waiting for her to ‘help’ her. They will promise her everything to make things go faster and ‘cheaper’ for her, if she will use their 'special' services, of course for a lot of money, and finally she will get nothing. One of the most 'popular' service these organizations can do for her is arranging 'magic' US entry visa's.
To be short about this, there is no other organization in Russia then the official US Embassy or Consulate, that can provide your Fiancée a visa to travel to the US.
Even I had an experience of a kind of fraud:
In 1998, I paid a lot of money for a professional photographer and a signing up fee to put my photo's on the website of a certain Russian dating agency in Moscow (it's not existing anymore). Until today, I still have to wait till they will publish my photo's. I contacted many times with this 'Agency', but they denied that they received my photo's and money and the contact person, I was referring to, was not working in this office!
These things can happen to your girlfriend too.
Always advise your girlfriend that if she need any services of an Agency (ex. email forwarding, translation etc.), then be certain that she will go to an Agency that is absolute reliable.
This is just one of the many possible 'fraud' situations you or your Fiancée can be involved in. This happens almost every day in Russia
The above question is one of the most asked questions in this Russian-women-dating world, because this fact can make you already a little suspicious, isn’t it?
Ok, I will give you some background information you should know:
In Russia there live about 140 million people (source CIA-World Factbook)
About 100 mln are between the age 16 – 65 years old.
From this 100 mln, 58% are men and 52% are women. Yes, you are right, there are more men in Russia than women, at least in this age category. Above the age of 65, there are more women than men.
The average age of a Russian man is about 64 and a Russian woman 74%
Most of the people in Russia live in, or close to, big cities.
The above question has more than one answer, I will give you a few:
In Russia it is (part of the Russian culture) normal that women marry very young. They already marry from age 18, most of the women are married between 18 and 23 years and they sometimes already have 1 or 2 children too. If a Russian woman is not married before 25, then she will be considered as 'strange' or weird. Another reason is that very young Russian women very early starts 'hunting' for their future husband, because they are afraid to be left alone, that they will be too old if they are not in time (to find a husband). Because of this reason you also will see that many Russian women already are divorced at a (comparing to Western standards) very young age. Being divorced in Russia is not a good start to find another man in Russia. All these reasons has everything to do with the Russian culture. Just 'living together' is sometimes not a possibility in relation to the Russian culture. If two young people want to live together, then they should be married first. For this reason, Russian women are looking for a foreign men with possible marriage. To be married first or being officially engaged, when living together, is still very important for a Russian woman. You really must respect this part of their culture. Don't try to convince her that 'living together' is almost the same as 'married together', because in Russia it's not the same.
Another important reason is, that at this moment, young Russian people start to change their 'old' culture customs. Especially young Russian men are waiting longer before they are thinking about marriage. This fact gives the young Russian woman a reason to look 'somewhere else', because they are afraid that when the Russian men is ready for marriage, there will be not enough men for her to 'choose'. The young Russian woman doesn't want to wait for this.
A next very important reason is, that many Russian men have no job, no money, no future and as a result for that, drink a lot, which causes many decease's, and unfortunately, many Russian men will die too early (read the above figures).
For the Russian women, this is not an acceptable situation or future she is waiting for.
Concerning a certain age-group among the Russian women, you can say that Russian women between the age 30 and 45 are condemned to stay alone. There is almost no Russian man who is looking for such an 'old' woman. I know it sounds crazy, but unfortunately, it's true.
Another possible reason is the fact that Russian women don't have any faith in the economical future of Russia, although the Russian economy is recovering slowly, for the Russian women, it's developing too slow. Russian women are in general high educated persons and hard workers and they also want to use their education in a normal economical atmosphere. Russia still has a long way to go to accomplish this and the women have not enough time to wait for this, because in time they will be too old to find a man.
The final reason for women who are looking for a foreign man, is a combination of the above. The economical reason in combination with finding a trustful foreign husband.
In general all Russian women are looking for a trustful, reliable, healthy and respectful husband who lives a normal life under normal circumstances with an acceptable financial living standard to support a family under normal conditions. I use the word 'normal' many times, I want to express that these women are not specific looking for rich men. They don't need 2 cars, a TV in every room, 2 boats, 2 houses and 5 times a year a holiday.
But they are also not looking for a man who likes to drink a lot or uses drugs now and then or don't have enough means to support a family or is just lazy, or being only a housekeeper after he finally married her. And they certainly are not looking for a one time adventure.
But for Russian women this is more difficult, she only can 'know' these things because you are 'writing' this to her. She actually cannot 'see' it by herself, she lives too far away for just a short visit (which for the US is impossible to do), to see e.g. how you decorated your house to get an impression of your life style. For this reason, Russian women will ask you many times about these things, and if not, you should tell her these things by yourself. These items are very important for her, because she needs to create the right or correct image of the man she intends to live with.
The one's that might (aware or unaware) disappoint you:
But unfortunately there is also a very small group of (most of the times very young) Russian women who only are looking for a 'ticket' (green card) to the US or other Western country. Most of these young women are even not aware of the 'impossible' future they try to create. You can recognize these women if you have a normal knowledge of human character. These women doesn't want to take month's before they want to meet you (preferable in your country and without detailed knowledge about what kind of man you are), also these women don't mind at all if you are 20 years (or more) older than they are. And usually they will not talk or write about very profound personal interests or very private matters. In fact they act sometimes like high school girls, are already writing that they love you in their third letter and are not afraid to talk about money. They will often tell you that they are really looking forward to 'live in your country', instead of saying 'living with you'.
It is not self-evident that these women are 'scams', they are just too young to know that most of these large-age-difference relationships not always work out as they expect to be.
The first line I wrote to my current husband was:
"I am not looking for a new country to live in, I am looking for a compatible partner to live with"
Please be careful, especially this category of young women can be 'dangerous' for you. They can make your head going out of control. Imagine, a 21 beautiful young woman, a really knock out, who is in love with an 43 year old western man. If this will ever happen to you, please ask yourself, why this very young woman is attracted to a much older man? After that, ask her the same question and try to evaluate her answers about this fact, and talk with others (e.g. your friends or family) about this, maybe these people, who are close to you, can help you to keep your both feet on the ground.
Of course there are many examples that this age difference really can work, but to be honest and not to discourage you, I interviewed different Russian women about this subject and they all answered that they in general prefer men of their own age. Of course they don't mind reasonable age difference (more than western women do), but like I said, in an acceptable way. My husband is 9 years older than me and I have no problem with that, beside that, we both have reached an age (above 35) that we made our decision based on mutual mature life experience. There is a big difference between an age difference for example, she 20 and you 40 then for example, she 35 and you 55.
Just try to keep it within reasonable age difference, I thought you are looking for a Russian 'wife' and not for a 'daughter'?
These women are most of the time very young comparing to your age
She tells you how nice it would be to live in your beautiful 'country', instead of telling you how nice it would be to live with 'you''.
she starts very soon writing about items like 'I want to visit you' (instead of inviting you to Russia) and that she (already) loves you and hardly can wait to meet you in your country.
she tells you about her dreams to be on your white beaches, instead of the cold in Russia.
In general, she wants to come to your country very soon, but not for you as the main reason.
And there are also women and men who work in an organized way. They almost never 'work' alone and can be very convincing to you that they will be the perfect wife for you. In fact these 'women' are often 'men' faking like you are corresponding with a real woman. But sometimes it also can be a real woman who is trying to fraud you. I know a story of a man who visited a woman (after she invited him) for the first time in Ukraine (but this also can be Russia or other CIS country) and this woman arranged for him (with help of some 'friends') an apartment and other practical matters. Then she showed him a lot of fake (very expensive) bills and asked him to pay her. When he didn't want to pay this crazy and unacceptable amount of money, she blackmailed him by threatening him to go to the local police, if he didn't want to pay her. Of course he had no choice, because you never know how many people are involved in this kind of 'fraud' and he never would have had any chance or even worse.
In many ways, but I give you a few identifications:
she tells you how nice it would be to live in your beautiful 'country', instead of telling you how nice it would be to live with 'you''.
she starts very soon writing about items like 'I want to visit you' (instead of inviting you to Russia) and that she (already) loves you
she doesn't write, in a comprehensive detailed way, about her personal life and private matters
she doesn't give you her or another phone number and her postal address (which you can check easily)
she gives you hints about money issues (tell you how expensive a visa is, or tickets are and that she can not afford this or that she and her family has not enough money to live from, etc.)
she starts to ask you money for her preparation to visit you and tells you that she can get help from a local (travel) agency, or she tells you she need money for Internet access or whatever.
her letters are very impersonal, except the words she uses to express her love for you, but this is her main 'weapon'.
But any 'money' issue, especially if she is asking for it or if she takes the initiative to talk about money, is considered as an important identification of possible scam.
Certainly not! these were only some examples of possible fraud of a very small part of Russian women (or men) who are at the wrong site of the Internet dating World. Does it scares you? Please don't, it's only a minor part (0.5%) of the total Russian women who are trying to find a new partner. Don't get paranoid about this, you can do many things by yourself to avoid a possible scam and if you do it right, it doesn't need to cost you a lot of money.
Always try to be positive, don't think that behind every corner there will be someone waiting for you to get rid of your money. And do not forget that many Russian women are afraid for the same thing too. It's not only the 'women' who are trying to 'play' with men, there are a lot of weird Western men too, who just are looking for some 'action' or a one time adventure with a beautiful Russian girl or woman and just drop them like dirt when they don't need them anymore. One of my best (Russian) friend has had this kind of experience with an American man. So, both parties (man and woman) will be insecure and cautious, before they 'open' themselves completely to each other.
Hire yourself a very good private detective, pay $200,- an hour and hire a second private detective to check the first P.I. (you'll never know).
Ok, I know this sounds stupid, but this could be a 'safe' way to start your journey to find yourself a trustful and reliable woman.
If you are looking for a cheaper and also safe way:
Don not lose you common sense and use your common knowledge of human character and always keep both feet on ground
Many men lose their heads if they see a picture of a real knock-out, especially if this knock-out is interesting in him. It looks like they are drugged and it will take away their 'feelers' that should warn him when he scents 'danger'. The world looks pink to him and walks on clouds, but he doesn't notice that he is already taking his wallet to help this young beautiful woman who lives in such a 'cruel' world called Russia.
Ok, I know I am exaggerating, but be warned, this kind of people can really use very credible stories to convince you their reliability, by using very dirty tricks. Forgive me for saying this, (but I am a woman and allow myself to say this) men in general can be very naive during moments they should be very attentive.
Read her letters like it is your employment contract
I receive often questions of men who are suspicious about their current contact with a lady. When I start to ask more information about the correspondence and receive copy of letters, I very often can recognize possible scam. You should do this too, just to 'learn' how these people write their letters.
Ask the woman to explain to you why she likes you and what she is really looking for.
This question can be very important for you. You can judge from her answer if it sounds acceptable, or reasonable or not. Skip the superlatives in her answer and try to read 'between' the lines. Especially when there is a big age difference between her and you, her answer can be of great importance of your possible suspicious thoughts about her. read carefully if she is talking about you and not your country, if you know what I mean. If you are a man over 45, bold, having a small overweight belly and smoking cigars and she is beautiful and only 24 years young, then never accept her answer that you are so handsome. Be honest with yourself. If she really likes you (which of course is possible) then she really must give you a very good and above all, realistic and acceptable reason to explain to you why.
Ask her things about her private life, family, friends, work, postal address, birth date, phone numbers etc.
People who try to fraud you, don't like to give a way such sensitive information. Because they know you easily check this information.
Ask some specific questions in your letters and check if she really gives answers on your specific questions.
If people indeed are trying to fraud you, then you are not the only one they are corresponding with. They often use pre-printed text and after the second and third letter they use similar text which can be used for other men too. Of course some answers are answers on your questions you send to here, but it is important to read 'how' they write their answers and what kind of 'English' they use.
Don't get paranoid at once. It depends in what way she is talking about money. And, more important, in what phase of your relationship with her, are you both in. Supporting her financially, for only matters related to e.g. her visit to you, or to start the immigration process, is quite normal. If the woman has no financial means for herself than you should help her.
But never send her a penny before you ever met her in person!
Our advice related to your first meeting with her
Go to her country and spend as long time as possible with her. In this way you are the one who controls all the expenses to visit her, like applying for a visa, arranging tickets, hotel reservation etc. Be sure, it's you who is doing all these arrangements. Never let her do any arrangements for you, by sending her money. It is not too difficult to do this all by yourself or use an official travel Agency who will do that for you. If you read all the pages of our web site, you will find many information about the 'First Meeting'. If not enough, just write us and we will try to help you.
This issue we also submitted to the different Russian women we interviewed for several questions. They all answered that they never would write or talk (by the phone) about such very private things.
Even if it is true, that their life circumstances are bad, they never would talk about it, especially not to a person they never met in person before . Russian women have their pride too. Of course this is different when you already married her (or almost) and of course, if she is living with you, she wants to help her family, if possible. But talking about it before you ever met her, no, they never will do that.
If the woman will understand that you have no intentions to send her money, and if she really has intentions to 'fraud' you, she will finally give you an excuse to end this relationship. Women who have real intentions to fraud you, have no time to keep themselves waiting a long time to get your money. They try to get your money as soon as possible, otherwise they know they will have the risk to get exposed.
The police and other authorities in Russia are very active to fight against these criminal practices.
Every Agency, related to Internet dating, has many services you can buy or where you have to pay for. There are different kind of issues you have to be careful for. First I will try to explain different kind of possible scams, fraud or misinformation.
Most Agencies you really can trust. The women they have in their databases are real, and most of the time checked by the Agency itself. This kind of Agency asks many information about the woman before they will publish here and they will confirm you that these women have serious sincere reasons to meet you. Almost every Agency has additional services to offer, like Phone or Letter Translations, Email forwarding, Gift services and many more. You will see (after visiting a few Agencies) that prices differ very much from each other. Always compare prices for the same services between different kind of Agencies. If you have met a woman through one of these agencies and you have reasons to believe something is 'wrong' with this peculiar woman, then report this at one at this agency. They always will help you to find out what is possible wrong. If you want to know what good agencies are then visit our own recommended section of an absolute reliable agency. Or choose one of our programs from the menu-item 'women' at the top or bottom of the page.
These Agencies have the nasty habit to keep you as long as possible as a paid customer. Or their prices for products are far too high, comparing to the common professional agencies. This type of agencies also allow scammers easy to be published in their directory. They can also ask money for translations for the letters you write to the woman, if you don't pay, they don't let you in contact with the woman. To be short, they can ask you money for services you don't ask for. They also sometimes 'change' your letters to the lady if you are using an email forward service, they do the same with the letters from the lady addressed to you. using this method they try to keep you longer as a paid email-forwarding customer.
These 'Agencies' can have really sophisticated web sites and it really looks like a professional Agency with real beautiful women. The only problem is, they sell nothing. The women they are using are just some nice photo's from magazines or 'stolen' from real Agencies, but these women are not existing. They ask money for almost everything and always have an excuse if you start to ask sharp questions about their services. If you have contact with one of the 'women' published at this agency, she probably will not start asking about money. This part will be done by the 'owner' of the agency and will talk about money on behalf of the woman you are corresponding with. These 'managers' of this kind of agencies try to convince you that your 'lady' doesn't has money to pay for translation, phone costs, email forwarding or visa to travel to the US (which as you have read earlier, impossible for her to do) and ask you polite to do this for her.
You will recognize this kind of agencies easily.
There are several things what you can do, like this:
Two well-known and network or co-brand organizations are A Foreign Affair and The Angelika network and they offer other's to use their network as a co-brand website. Or you have websites who offer to place their ladies on your website, like A Pretty Woman. The three network organizations I mentioned are considered to be in the 'good' category.
Do not look for a photo, look for a compatible partner, so read her profile about what she likes and what her hobbies are and what 'she' is looking for! . Her beautiful photo in a sexy outfit is just to compete against her female 'rivals'. But these ladies are certainly NOT desperate!
But even when you are using the services of 'good' agencies, there always can be a small chance that a certain woman is not the person you think she is or that you think it is to beautiful to be true. Even when a woman has to show the agency all her personal information, like name, family name, fathers name, postal address, phone numbers, birth-date etc. it could be possible that her intentions are different then you are looking for.
If she is/was married before or single
Her real home (postal) address
If she is working and where
For $US 149, we will dig through public records and answer all those nagging questions you may have about your Russian Internet date
Don't feel ashamed to do this, if many more men had done this before, it had would had prevent them from a lot of disappointment and would saved them a lot of money too.
If you already have contact with a woman, keep our information about 'How can I protect myself to unreliable women' in mind. Always use your common sense and keep both feet on ground. Like I started this chapter, the chance is very little, but possible.
We will give you guidelines in the different phases of your final process to get your woman into your country.
We have written a very detailed chapter about how to find and marry a Russian women, we have written a lot of information which can be a great help for you. We advise you to read the whole chapter before taking any action.Commenting on the news rich men dating agency sign up. Website for dating.