Review of senior dating sites
The Best Online Dating Sites
To find a needle in a haystack, you want lots of needles and not too much hay. After analyzing usage data and talking to dating experts, we test-drove the top seven to see which of the best online dating sites led to the highest quality hellos. The offline part, we've left up to you.
Women Call the Shots
May 9, 2017: In the original version of this review, we only tested dating platforms that offered the full functionality of a website and didn’t dive into app-only options. In this update, we tested two swipe-based apps, Tinder and Bumble, plus Zoosk, whose user base has grown in the last few years. Even with the added competition, OkCupid still came out on top.
We’ll be the first to admit evaluating online dating sites is a subjective process. Chemistry, attraction, and love are obviously difficult to quantify, and different people have different desires, needs, and goals for their romantic lives. Plus, your experience with any dating site is going to be colored by all sorts of things: your gender, age, sexual orientation, looks, location. The list goes on.
Knowing it would be impossible to evaluate the ineffable, we set out simply to find which dating sites or apps were most likely to get you a compatible match. (The actual “going on dates” part we’ll leave to you.)
We like OkCupid's whole package — a huge user base, slick interface, the fact that it’s free — but its real strength lies in its robust matching algorithm. It not only asks you questions about your personality, likes, and dislikes (“Do you think women have an obligation to keep their legs shaved?” and “What do you spend a lot of time thinking about?”) but also lets you rate how important a potential match’s answers to those same questions are. No other dating site works as hard to deliver you the exact right partners, and that means results: In our testing, we found the highest percentage of good matches with OkCupid, and the second-highest percentage of high-quality messages. To unlock features like incognito mode, read receipts, and a larger inbox, you can upgrade to a paid plan for $10 per month, but we think the free version is more than enough to get started.
Not into the idea of creating a full-blown dating profile? Check out Tinder. As opposed to a matching algorithm that evaluates your answers to various questions, Tinder is all about first impressions — your photos are the most prominent part of your profile. And it’s easy to get started: upload a few snaps from your Facebook profile, add an optional bio, and start swiping through other users in your area. Even though we received fewer messages compared to other sites, we rated 40 percent “good” — the most out of the seven sites we tested. That’s in large part because only mutual matches can message each other: both parties have to “swipe right” before they can say hello, which cuts way down on spam.
Bumble offers an experience that’s very similar to Tinder, but with a twist: Women have to start the conversation. If they don’t, the match will disappear after 24 hours, although you can upgrade to a paid account to keep matches around longer. (Same-sex matches have no restrictions on who can message first.) Bumble is a great app for women who want to set the tone of the conversation and avoid a flood of unwanted messages — or for men who want a break from the pressure of making the first move.
If you know you’re looking for a long-term relationship and you don’t mind paying for online dating, consider Match.com. It organizes in-person events like speed dating, happy hours, and game nights for its members to help accelerate the search for “the one,” and it works — studies have shown it’s one of the top two sites to produce marriages. (Match.com’s user base is slightly older, too, which may indicate more people who are ready to settle down.) However, Match lacks the robust matching algorithm of OkCupid — it came in fourth place for good matches in our testing — and isn’t as streamlined as Tinder or Bumble. On top of that, it costs $23 per month.
We also tested three other sites: eHarmony, Plenty of Fish, and Zoosk. While we can’t recommend them, we hope we can save you the trouble of experiencing them yourself. Take it from us, eHarmony was just a worse version of Match.com. At $46 per month it’s the most expensive option out there, but had the highest number of blank profiles. Meanwhile, Plenty of Fish lives up to its name — we received twice as many messages compared to OkCupid. But almost all of them were suspiciously short, spammy, or just plain rude. Zoosk took it one step further — you’ll pay a monthly subscription for low-quality matches.
Matchmaker and online dating expert Carmelia Ray points out that “as a user, you want to have the most selection and options. When you’re putting in your search criteria, and it’s coming back ‘no matches found,’ that’s a bummer.”
To find the most popular options, we turned to Alexa, a web-traffic analytics company. We tested any with at least a million active users in the US. It’s impossible to know exactly how many users are active on a given site or app (especially because mobile users aren’t reflected in Alexa data), but we’re definitely in the ballpark. In early 2017, Barron’s estimated that Tinder has about 30 million active users and Bumble is close to 10 million.
A Quick Note Our tester is a she, who is straight, white, and in her late 20s. Her experiences were inevitably impacted by these facts. Your mileage may vary.
They’re are all likely names you recognize: OkCupid, Match.com, eHarmony, Plenty of Fish, Tinder, Bumble, and Zoosk. Our tester tried them all. She came up with a snappy username, entered her personal information, wrote detailed but pithy descriptions of her hobbies and interests, answered hundreds of multiple-choice questions, posted photos, and browsed profile after profile. She kept a detailed log of every view, like, wink, fave, and message she received. We used it all to find the best.
Good online dating profiles are both extremely important and surprisingly hard to find. Krissy Dolor, the director of dating at eFlirt says, “When online dating, people skim through profiles, so it’s important to stand out in the crowd. Avoid being generic with cliches like ‘live, laugh, love’ or ‘I like to laugh and have fun.’”
One way for a dating app or site to help users avoid that trap is to offer lots of fill-in-the-blanks and multiple-choice questions — that way, you don’t have to come up with any clever turns of phrase. But of course, without your voice, it’s hard for your personality to shine through in your profile. The best ones strike a balance between both approaches.
All of our top dating apps use an algorithm to match you with people you should be compatible with and interested in — and keep those “automatic nos” out of your feed. This is the real heart of online dating (anyone could sift through profiles on their own) and some sites and apps do it better than others.
Since our tester was a straight woman, her experience with online dating is weighted more toward receiving messages than sending messages. (According to a study from OkCupid, the majority of women don’t send the first message in online dating conversations — but they get great results when they do.) To keep our judgments as objective as possible, we used a rubric to categorize each message:
- Good messages mentioned a common interests or asked about something in our profile (aside from physical appearance). They were free of any major spelling or grammar errors, and sometimes they were funny.
- Mediocre messages were boring and impersonal: “Any plans for the weekend?” or only focused on physical appearance: “You have incredible eyes”.
- Bad messages included anything extremely short (“Hi”) or generic (“I found many features of your profile interesting”). Anything passive aggressive, like “You probably won’t respond to this, but…” or “I like your big nose” was out, as were threats, obscene comments, and spam.
Unfortunately — but perhaps not all that surprisingly — the majority of the messages we received on traditional dating sites were mediocre or downright bad. But swipe-based apps like Tinder were different. To send someone a message, both users have to indicate they’re interested by “swiping right” on their profile. We still got a few bad messages, but the overall quality was better compared to the traditional dating sites we tested.
We received too few messages on eHarmony and Bumble to provide an accurate comparison.
Because none of the platforms we tested were exorbitantly priced, we didn’t weigh cost too heavily when ranking them. That said, the fact that OkCupid, Tinder, and Bumble are free definitely stands out.
Of the seven dating apps we tested, we can confidently recommend four.
OkCupid They say you can’t be all things to all people, but OkCupid comes pretty close.
No matter what you’re looking for — casual hookups, marriage, polyamory, relationships with men, relationships with women, a little bit of everything — OkCupid can accommodate. It’s by far the best-looking and easiest to use of our top four, on both browser and mobile, with intuitive iconography and streamlined features. Two factors really set OkCupid apart from the competition: It produces the best profiles, and it uses the best matching algorithm.
OkCupid sports a clean layout on both desktop and mobile (left) and it’s playful enough (right) to make for a fun overall experience.
The standard fields you fill in on your profile are open-ended without being too general, which lets people come up with creative, interesting answers almost without trying. Yes, it includes the standard prompt to list your favorite movies, music, and TV shows, but it also asks you what six things you couldn’t live without and what you spend a lot of time thinking about. With those kinds of questions, it would be hard not to come up with unique answers that show potential dates what makes you you. Unlike on most of the other apps we tested, we didn’t find any OkCupid profiles left blank or populated by “I’ll fill this out later.”
In addition to the more free-form profile prompts, OkCupid also lets you answer multiple-choice questions, which it uses to produce its famous match percentage. Like many other dating sites, OkCupid algorithmically compares your answers to those of other users to determine if you’re compatible. But unlike most dating sites, it (a) lets you choose the answer you want your partner to give, and (b) lets you rank how important the question is to you.
OkCupid uses your answers to these questions to do a bunch of math, so that whenever you look at another user’s profile, you see a “match percentage” (which measures ways you’re compatible with someone) and an “enemy percentage” (which measures ways you’re not compatible with someone). Though OkCupid emphasizes high match percentages, it’s just as important to have a low enemy percentage.
OkCupid’s multiple-choice questions offer users an impressive amount of options. (Right) Match Percentage gives you a quick glance at your compatibility with other members.
Regardless, of the 90 matches we browsed during our week of testing, 31 seemed promising — a higher percentage than any other dating site. On the receiving end, we got 43 messages (a good amount, but not too many to deal with), and 28 percent were good. That’s lower than on Tinder, but still pretty good for a site where anyone can send you a message. Speaking of Tinder, if you want to get in on that swiping action while still taking advantage of OkCupid’s superior algorithm, use OkCupid’s new Double Take feature. It emphasizes photos and swiping right or left, but you get to see more of a potential date’s profile info than you would on Tinder, and of course you can click through to see all their answered questions and other relevant details.
Upgrading to “A-list” for $10/month unlocks bonus features like incognito mode, read receipts, and a larger inbox, but all of OkCupid’s core features — messaging others, answering questions, and checking your match percentages — are free to use. Our advice: start with the free version. If you’re not getting any hits, spring for the $2 “boost” feature — it puts your profile in front of a LOT more users in a mere 15 minutes (878, in our tester’s case).
Tinder is the exact of opposite of OkCupid — matches are based purely on mutual attraction — but it works just as well. Instead of spending hours in front of your screen trying to find a soulmate who meets all of your criteria, you basically play a quick swiping game when you have a few spare minutes. When you find someone you think is cute, you get off the app, go on a date, and see if any sparks fly.
It has evolved from its early days as a hookup app to an app for all kinds of dating, but it maintains its casual, carefree aesthetic by doing away with the extensive questionnaires of first-generation dating sites. Your photos are by far the most prominent part of your profile, and you only get 500 characters (about four or five sentences) to describe yourself.
That may sound a little superficial if you’re on the market for a long-term partner, but there is something to be said for the kind of chemistry that a computer can’t calculate for you. And Tinder’s “Smart Photos” feature automatically sets your most swipe-right-able photo as your profile pic.
Tinder does use an algorithm to match people, but it’s based more on attractiveness than on suitability as a partner. To oversimplify a bit, the more people swipe right on you, the higher your desirability rating, and the app shows you people with desirability ratings similar to yours.
On more traditional dating sites, men generally send a lot of messages to women, most of them pretty bad. But on Tinder, you can only exchange messages with someone once you’ve both swiped right, which reduces the flood of messages to a more manageable stream. People (of any gender) can of course still send bad messages, but the self-selection factor tends to cut it down a bit. Our tester received a higher proportion of high-quality messages on Tinder than on any other dating app: 6 of 15 messages were good. You’ll likely get fewer messages, but the ones you get will probably be higher quality.
Basic functionality — browsing, swiping, messaging — is free, interrupted by occasional ads. A paid account (one month for $20, six months $78, and a year for $96) gives you some bonus features that are nice but not necessary, like rewinding your last swipe. For users under 30, that price is cut in half.
Bumble Women have to send the first message within 24 hours.
Like Tinder, Bumble is a swipe-based dating app, but with one big distinction: straight men can’t make the first move. After a mutual match, women have to send the first message and if she doesn’t make a move in 24 hours, the match disappears forever — unless, that is, you have a paid account, in which case either person can extend a match by another 24 hours or even reconnect with expired matches. For same-sex matches, the 24-hour rule still applies, but either person can message first.
Because of these features, the paid version of Bumble is substantially better to use than the unpaid version (unlike Tinder and OkCupid, where there’s not a huge difference between paying and not paying). Bumble is $3 a week, $8 a month, $15 for three months, or $24 for six months.
Tinder co-founder, Whitney Wolfe conceived Bumble as a “100 percent feminist” way to reduce that harassment in the online dating world. She says forcing women to make the first move is good for both genders: Women not only receive less harassment but also don’t get trapped in a passive role they don’t want, while men have to do less work and get to feel “flattered” instead of experiencing “rejection and aggression.”
But the real question is: Does the ladies-first policy work?
This was kind of a difficult claim for our tester, a straight woman, to evaluate. On other dating sites and apps, men messaged her, and she could sort the messages into good, bad, and mediocre. On Bumble, she had to send the first message, in which she revealed she was just testing out the app for a review. Most men simply never replied, a few responded warmly and talked about their experiences on Bumble, and a couple responded with hostility. Those who responded also mentioned that most of the messages they received from women were just as lackluster as the ones men send on other sites.
Match.com Match.com was the first real dating website, and it’s still among the best.
Match.com has a reputation as a better place to search for long-term relationships than more hookup-friendly platforms like OkCupid or Tinder. Its users skew a little older — more thirty- and forty-somethings than those in their twenties — which means they’re more likely to be looking to settle down. And science backs that reputation up: According to one study, Match.com and eHarmony produce the most marriages of any dating sites or apps.
It’s free to build a profile, but you have to pay to send or receive messages. It’s by far the most expensive option: $70 for three months or $240 for a year, and that fee isn’t refundable if you choose to cancel.
Like OkCupid, Match.com tries to strike a balance between letting you use your own words and helping you fill in pre-fab questions and fields. It does a decent job, but not an outstanding one. The information it asks for is more boring (how many times a week you exercise) and often too open-ended (describe yourself in your own words), which means people often don’t complete their profiles, or they fill them in with the kind of cliches Dolor warns against.
Match.com’s open-ended prompts can lead to incomplete or cliche-filled profiles.
The design is more cluttered than OkCupid, so it’s harder to take in information at a glance, and it seems a bit redundant to offer winks, likes, and faves. But the app is more streamlined, and everything is easy enough to use, whether you’re accessing the site from a laptop or phone.
In the past year, Match has tweaked their algorithm to resemble OkCupid’s, at least outwardly, even displaying a tiny match percentage in some places on the site.
But without the full sophistication of that algorithm, it often matched our tester with people based on meaningless similarities: “He shares the same birth month!” Match did a decent job at showing our tester potential dates she was actually interested in (of 88 profiles browsed, 11 seemed promising) — just not as good as OkCupid, Tinder, or Bumble. The site may be better suited to the user who wants to browse matches on their own and decide for themselves whom they consider compatible.
We received 35 messages — a few less than on OkCupid — and we would classify five of them as good. Eight were mediocre, and 22 were bad: That’s only 14 percent good messages. So while Match is, statistically speaking, better for marriage-minded daters, not everyone using it is marriage-minded enough to take the process seriously or put in enough effort.
One great feature that sets Match apart from other big dating sites is that it organizes and promotes regular in-person events like speed dating, happy hours, and game nights. As Dolor says, “The only way people can truly evaluate whether or not they’ve made a good match is by turning online conversations into offline dates, and seeing where things go when they’re face to face with someone.” No dating site facilitates that better than Match.com.
We can confidently recommend OkCupid, Match.com, Tinder, and Bumble. But we also hand-tested three more: eHarmony, Plenty of Fish, and Zoosk. While these three are all big names in online dating, we were not impressed.
eHarmony It's one of the better-known online dating sites, but Match.com outperformed it in every way.
As a dating site, eHarmony has a reputation for being old-fashioned and marriage-oriented, and it likes it that way. “Do you want fast or forever?” one of its TV commercials asks. Like we mentioned, eHarmony and Match.com are neck and neck for the most marriages, with eHarmony eking out the top spot by 0.7 percentage point.
Though it’s not exorbitant, eHarmony is the most expensive of the sites we tested. The most basic plan costs $46 a month, and you have to pay for three months minimum upfront. That’s $138 before you have any idea whether you like its services or not.
Our experience on eHarmony was mostly negative. The design is buggy on both the website and the app, which makes it harder to use. Our tester got way fewer views (8) and messages (1) than on any other site, and we encountered way more blank profiles (13) than on any other site, perhaps because of the super long and soon-to-be-optional compatibility questionnaire. That was extra disappointing considering how much money the site cost. If you’re looking for older users on a traditional dating site, Match.com surfaced better profiles and cost half as much.
eHarmony often offered potential matches based on the flimsiest of connections — like a love of cats.
The one interaction we did have, however, was more pleasant because of a great eHarmony feature: Send a Question. If talking about yourself isn’t your strong suit, the Send a Question feature can help you out by providing prewritten questions like “What’s your idea of a fun date?” or “What is your dream getaway vacation?” as well as prewritten answers (although they do give you the option to use your own words if you want). There are also questions about more serious topics like how you feel about having kids and how to handle conflicts in relationships. This feature spared us from having to field messages that just said, “Hi sexy ;)” and spared the people messaging us from the stress of coming up with something fresh and snappy on the fly.
eHarmony’s Send a Question feature can help when you’re struggling with what to say.
People looking for same-sex relationships can’t use eHarmony at all. If you try to sign up, you’ll be shuttled to eHarmony’s sister site, Compatible Partners, which may be the only gay and lesbian dating site on the market with a name obviously invented by straight people.
Plenty of Fish It certainly earns the "Plenty" in its name — we received a ton of interactions, but the overall quality was pretty bad. Still, it's popular and free.
Plenty of Fish is difficult to use, not too pretty to look at, and frankly overwhelming, at least if you’re a straight woman. We got way, way, way more activity than on any other site: a total of 683 views and 135 messages. This would be a good thing — more potential matches, more choices — except that most of the interactions were extremely low quality. Only 11 of those 135 messages were good. Twenty-seven were mediocre, and 95 were bad. In fact, our tester was propositioned to exchange sex for money twice.
Many times, we weren’t sure if the messages we were receiving were from a real human or a spambot, because they just said “hey” or something similar. Clicking through to the sender’s profile didn’t help; most people don’t spend very much time filling out their profile on POF, and it was hard to tell if something like “……..” was written by a scammer who didn’t want to invest too much time in a fake profile or a guy genuinely looking to date who just got bored while filling out his info.
(Left) We weren’t too impressed by the quality of messages we got through Plenty of Fish. (Right) By default, the POF app is set to notify you of all sorts of interactions, which got tiresome quickly.
But Plenty of Fish is still useful for two main reasons: It’s free, and, like all our top sites, has millions of users. Plus, if you actually do put effort into crafting a great profile and sending high-quality messages, you’ll really stand out.
Zoosk The worst of all worlds, though it somehow maintains a decent market share.
As of 2015, Zoosk accounts for 5 percent of the online-dating market. That’s relatively small compared to the other dating sites and apps we looked at, but it’s remarkably high for such a substandard product.
Zoosk takes the worst parts of Plenty of Fish — bad user-experience design, an overwhelming amount of low-quality messages, and a more or less useless matching algorithm — but instead of giving them to you for free like POF, Zoosk charges money (1 month at $29.95, 3 months at $19.98/month, 6 months at $12.49/month).
On top of that, you can pay extra for virtual coins which can be exchanged for features like read receipts, boosts, and “gifts.” “Gifts,” by the way, are little images of hearts and teddy bears you can send to other users to indicate you’re interested. Who on earth wants to pay extra to show a stranger a tiny pixelated image of jewelry?
Zoosk gives you a much worse product than its competitors. Take, for example, their “wink” system. If you choose to “wink” at someone, it just sends them a message that says “wink wink” with a winking emoji, resulting in an inbox full of one word repeated over and over again. Even worse, Zoosk automatically sends a reply from you to the person who winked at you. Its default message: “Thanks. If you’re interested in contacting me, please drop me a line and tell me more.” So now both people have an inane, impersonal message from each other, killing any possibility of an interesting conversation before it even starts.
Even ignoring the multitude of winking emoji, our tester received only two high-quality messages out of 45. That’s 95 percent bad or mediocre messages, worse than any other dating app we tested.
The only semi-compelling reason to use Zoosk is that it has a larger active user base than niche sites. But even then, the other dating apps we tested have more users and better features for less.
Because of our tester’s age and orientation, our reviews are necessarily skewed toward people who are straight and on the younger side. But other demographics — LGBT people, middle-aged or older people, people in small rural towns, and so forth — are trying to find potential dates in inherently smaller pools of people. In a 2012 academic paper, researchers Michael Rosenfeld and Reuben Thomas termed those smaller pools thin dating markets.
The internet is especially important in identifying potential partners in thin dating markets.
In fact, dating sites and apps have been so successful for thin markets, especially LGBT people, that Dale Markowitz, a data scientist at OkCupid, says she thinks they’re “actually driving the mainstream popularity of online dating. For example, gay and lesbian members made up a larger portion of our member base back in 2010 than they do today.” As dating online became more mainstream, more straight people joined, and that proportion changed. “This isn’t to say users in thin markets are using online dating less than they did before,” she says, “but just that they saw value in online dating way before everyone else did.”
And although the proportion of younger, straight people using dating sites and apps has grown (tripled, in fact), they may not all be using it for the same reason. “I would still be willing to bet their rates of ‘success’ are lower,” says Kevin Lewis, a sociologist at UCSD. “Many young adults using these apps might never go out on a date at all, or are using these apps to supplement face-to-face meeting opportunities.”
Let’s say you’re in a different sort of thin dating market, and you only want to date others who share your race or religion. Are you more likely to find success if you sign up for a site that caters to that specific demographic — say, Christian Mingle for Christians, or JDate for Jews — or should you stick with a bigger site like Match and use filters to hone in on people with your desired traits? All the experts we talked to agreed: Stick with the big catch-all sites and apps.
“Even if OurTime is dedicated only to seniors, it might still be the case that, due to the sheer size of Match, there might be more seniors on Match then on OurTime,” says Lewis. And “generalist sites” will probably “do a better job of also matching on other dimensions of compatibility” because “they are better at the science of matchmaking.” If you’re a senior, you’re seeking someone more specific than just someone in your age group — you’re seeking someone who’s in your age group and loves traveling as much as you do and shares your political beliefs (or whatever your preferences are).
Big dating sites may be able to find that person for you better than niche sites. If you do use a niche site or app, it’s better to do so in addition to, say, OkCupid or Tinder, just because they’re so big.
If you’re looking for that kind of supplement, there are approximately 2 bajillion to explore, ranging from the obscure (matches based on your pet) to your looks (redheads only). A few have become popular, and while their user bases don’t compete with our top picks, they’re still worth a try.
- Our Time — Best for Seniors: One of the only dating sites that is geared specifically to users 50 and older, Our Time (formerly called Senior People Meet) is also the most active, with over a million monthly users in the US. (Dating For Seniors, by comparison, has only a little over 16,000.)
- Christian Mingle and JDate — Best for Religious Affiliation: Obviously there are more than two religions, but these sites are ubiquitous and, on sheer number of users alone, blow every other faith-oriented dating site away. ChristianMingle and JDate are both owned and operated by Spark Networks, the parent company of some 30 niche websites, and boast several hundred thousand active American users each. While most online dating sites have search tools that can prioritize religious orientation, ChristianMingle and JDate build it into their communities: ChristianMingle includes a prayer wall and faith-based profile questions, and JDate claims to be responsible for more Jewish marriages than all other dating sites combined. As of mid-2015, both ChristianMingle and JDate branched out into the app world, with JDate buying out its biggest competition, JSwipe.
- Exclusively LGBT Online Dating Sites: With the exception of eHarmony, which shunts its LGBT users to Compatible Partners, each of our top picks has a thriving gay community. The low user numbers for same-sex sites indicate that they’re not as compelling as the major players — Gay.com has fewer than 40,000 monthly users; Compatible Partners’ user total is even lower.
Accurate algorithms make a difference — but online dating is still a crapshoot.
OkCupid’s algorithm stands out because, while most online dating sites rank you as more compatible with someone if you both answer a question the same way (and less compatible if you answer it differently), OkCupid lets you choose what you want your potential match to answer — and how important that answer is.
For example, on OkCupid, we answered “no” to the question, “Do you ever intentionally try to make people angry just to see how they react?” Any algorithmic dating site would pick up on the fact that we would be more compatible with someone who also answered no to that question. And indeed, we chose “no” as the answer our partner should give (and marked it very important). But sometimes the “both answer the same way” approach doesn’t work so well. One OkCupid question asks, “How would you describe your body?” Our tester chose “slender” — but that’s not necessarily the answer she wants a potential date to give. In reality, she doesn’t care very much about body type at all. OkCupid let her specify that her possible partner could choose any answer: slender, average, athletic, or voluptuous.
And while that did seem to net our tester the most appealing partners, scientists have long discredited the notion that algorithm-based matchmaking definitively produces more lasting relationships — in fact, there are studies that show similarity (and complementarity), have “virtually no impact on relationship quality.” This is not to say that online dating doesn’t work — no one is claiming that. But the real benefit, scientists say, is bringing together singles who find it difficult to meet others through more conventional methods: work, hobbies, friends, etc.
A good profile goes a long way.
A complete profile not only makes you more approachable, but also boosts your chances for an accurate match. “After question number 40, I’m pretty sure people just go ‘right, right, right, let’s just get this over with,’” says Ray. “They don’t go through it.” But when you get bored and quit putting effort into your profile, you make it harder to find a match: If the site you’re using employs an algorithm, you’re giving it inaccurate or insufficient information. (This is one of the reasons sites like OkCupid “gamify” the process of building a profile — you can watch your match percentages rise and fall as you fill out more questions, swipe via their Quickmatch functionality, etc. — which all informs who you’ll be matched with.)
One last piece of advice from Dolor: “It’s best to keep your profile action-driven, so talk about things you enjoy doing, not the personality traits you possess. Ultimately, positivity is key.” Still need help? Ray, Dolor, and other matchmaking services and online-dating experts can be great resources.
Dating sites aren’t all fun. You’ve heard the stories: obscene photos, cruel messages, persistent creeps. Online dating can also be prime hunting ground for scammers and catfishers. These scammers prey on people’s trust by pretending to be madly in love with a user, then convincing them to send cash — sometimes lots of it. Worst of all, you may have no legal recourse, especially if the scammer lives in a different country. “If it’s too good to be true, it probably is not true,” says Mark Brooks, who runs the website Online Personals Watch and acts as a consultant for online-dating companies.
Percent of online daters by site who responded yes to “Have you been contacted by someone through an online dating site in a way that made you feel harassed or uncomfortable?” Source: Pew Research Center 2013 Online Dating & Relationships Study
Key takeaway: Watch out for red flags. According to Brooks, “a typical pattern for scammers is to get users off the dating site ASAP. Once they’re off, they’ll build confidence over a period of months, and then make a small ask, followed by bigger and bigger asks. By that time, their victim is hooked, and the sunk-cost fallacy kicks in.” Other signs, according to UK company Scamalytics, include bad grammar, fake photos (you can do a reverse image search on Google to see if the picture is actually of, say, a model), and inaccurate locations (someone who says they are in NYC but has an IP address that points across the country — or the world).
How can you protect yourself? Don’t be afraid to use the “block” button. And get advice from friends, says Brooks. “Don’t send money. Do a video date. Listen to your inner voice. It’s usually right.”
The Bottom Line
Online dating is a subjective experience. Your gender, age, sexual orientation, looks, and even location will affect the types of matches and messages you get. The best thing you can do is sign up for a couple different sites or apps, complete your profile, and try it for yourself.
Remember that the majority of your online interactions will likely be lackluster at best. That’s just how dating works — we simply don’t fall in love with every person we meet. Even if you get rejected many times, even if you field dozens of rude or crude messages, “you really, really have to have thick skin,” says Ray. “You have to learn how to not make it personal, and just know that there’s somebody out there.” She’s seen many clients who “put up a profile, and they get off it after a week,” and then wonder why online dating didn’t work for them.
Our advice: make it to the three-month mark. Ray says it typically takes at least that long to start getting results.
We find the best of everything. How? We start with the world. We narrow down our list with expert insight and cut anything that doesn't meet our standards. We hand-test the finalists. Then, we name our top picks.
Top 5 Dating Sites for Seniors
What’s the fastest growing group of online daters? If you’re thinking men in their 30s, think again. Bowling Green State University professors of gerontology, Dr. Wendy K. Watson and Dr. Charlie Stelle, have been researching the landscape and found that people over 60 represent the most rapidly growing demographic in online dating.
The study authors also delved into the question of which features make a dating site a good fit for seniors. Of course, there’s no one-size-fits-all, but their number one criteron make sense to us: an emphasis in profile questions on mutual interests and honest self-representation over looks and sexual prowess. You can read an article about the ongoing study by clicking here.
With Watson and Stelle’s study in mind, we’ve tested several popular dating sites, looking also for easy online experiences, and come up with five – both free and fee-based, senior-specific and all-ages – that we deem senior-friendly. Take a look and see which is a good fit for you.
- Why it’s senior friendly Match.com profiles provide plenty of opportunity for you to explore your potential mate’s education, faith, politics and other choices that you might find important. And this dating site can’t be beat on sheer volume: It boasts a membership of over 17 million, 2.5 million of whom are seniors. The odds are with you.
- What makes it easy The site lets you breeze through the profile creation process by checking off the basics first. You can save the paragraph sections for later, if and when you feel like further expounding on your life story and getting into the nitty gritty of the type of partner you’re looking for. The site also offers online guidance.
- Downside: Browsing is allowed for free, but you can’t make any actual connections without joining a paid plan.
- Price per month for 6 months $19.99 including Match.com Mobile, Matchtalk for narrowing your search by using keywords, and Stir events – offline groups that gather locally for happy hours, cooking classes, etc. What a great way to mix it up with other singles. If you can’t find a Stir event that’s right for you, you can organize one of your own.
- Why it’s senior friendly: eHarmony is dedicated to helping seniors find long-term relationships. With over 20 million registered users, the key difference between eHarmony and traditional senior dating sites is the intricate Compatibility Matching System, which narrows the field from thousands of senior singles and claims to find the most compatible matches based on your profile.
- What makes it easy: Answering 258 multiple-choice questions based on psychology tests may not sound easy, but once it’s done eHarmony does the rest. Members aren’t allowed to search. You simply sit back and wait for the experts to send you matches by email.
- Downside eHarmony totally controls your dating choices. It’s not for everybody. Plus, because the site has a Christian ideology, it does not entertain same-sex matches; those are relegated to a new separate service run by eHarmony, called Compatible Partners. The site also will not admit members who are legally separated but not divorced.
- Price per month for 6 months: $23.95 pays for eHarmony experts to decipher your perfect match based on your answers and their methodology. Mobile access and Facebook connection are available, but don’t offer on-the-ground events.
- Why it’s senior friendly Howaboutwe.com has recently partnered with AARP for a version targeted specifically to the 50-plus population – which is no surprise to us, since we had HowAboutWe pegged as the most senior-friendly online dating method. How About We and its AARP version are built around proposed dates: You can propose a date or scan dates that potential partners have proposed. These range from the generic (coffee somewhere quiet where we can chat) to the specific (a bike ride to the Met to see the Matisse show, or I’ve got Knicks tickets for Friday night. Want to join me?). Either way, it’s simple to “read” someone by the type of activity they want to share and find a good fit that way.
- What makes it easy The site has a fun, laid-back feel that’s easy to maneuver. You can post a date for free without the muss and fuss of completing a daunting profile, and if you use the “Play” function while you’re browsing, you have a quick and easy way to sort the ‘This one looks nice’ from the ‘No way in Hellers.’ You’ll get a daily email from site with potential dates based on your preferences (age, political and religious leanings, etc). Social networking connections are also available. If you like the idea of a live meeting without spending hours online, AARP Dating is a great option.
- Downside AARP Dating promotes face-to-face meetings, so it’s not a good choice for those who’d rather learn more about the person before going on a date.
- Price per month for 6 months An affordable $12; AARP members get a 7-day free trial and 50 percent off membership.
- Why it’s senior friendly 1.4 million hip, mature seniors visit Ourtime each month. It’s one of the most popular dating sites catering to the over 50 set. The personality section is a great feature if you’re looking for more than a one-night stand. And the profile questions range from ‘Do you like to cook?’ to ‘Are you a punctual person?’ – traits that most younger users don’t really consider important, but many seniors do.
- What makes it easy The profile is a straightforward mix of multiple-choice questions and paragraphs, without much glitz or glamour.
- Downside Online dating veterans may miss the extra features that other sites offer.
- Price per month for 6 months Browsing is allowed before joining the plan for a modest $12.99 per month for 6 months, but you’ll need to answer some basic questions before delving into a full-fledged search. Online chat is available, but no Facebook or mobile connections, yet.
- Why it’s senior friendly With over 3.5 million active users, OkCupid offers a plethora of unique visitors, seniors included. Some of the questions are geared toward the younger set, but seniors get around it by answering the mature questions about what you do on Friday night, the types of books and movies you like, and (a biggie for those who are set in their ways), ‘What six things could I never do without.’
- What makes it easy The profile is primarily Q&A based. Many of the questions are a bit bizarre, but easy to skip over. Don’t let the profile creation process discourage you from taking advantage of the gratis membership account.
- Downside: It’s fun and easy, but you get what you pay for. Enough said.
- Price per month for 6 months: FREE – unless you find ads distracting. If you’d prefer fewer flashing banner ads, and more access to information on who visited your profile, go ahead and upgrade to A-List status for a monthly fee of $14.95. Connecting with Facebook and Twitter is a free option.
Note Be aware when signing up for auto-payment on any online dating site: Complaints have been filed that certain sites continue to charge monthly fees after a member cancels. Keep an eye on your bank statement.
Thinking of trying online dating? Check out more Senior Planet articles:
How to set up your online dating profile in 4 easy steps
Do you have a favorite dating site? By sharing it in the comments section below you’ll help out some other seniors.
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Hi how’s everyone doing .. well I’m new to online dating and I’m acurally looking for someone to be with it seems ourtime don’t reply to messages or they are all fake profile even thou I know I’m good looking haha anyway if anyone would like to get in touch here my email is email@example.com .. Who knows we could use this medium to meet .. Steve
I’ve tried Match, OurTime, and Plenty of Fish in the past three years. I’m widowed and 64 years old. My experience is that 99% of the guys on these sites are people who couldn’t form lasting relationships. I steered clear of people who had never been married. I was skeptical of those who had been divorced and single for many years. Even the widowed guys were an issue because there was no way to compete with the memory of the “ideal wife” who had become a saint in their memory. However, IT ONLY TAKES ONE to create a loving, lasting relationship.
You have to look at these sites in the right way. It is like finding a needle in a haystack, but love is worth it! There are some good, kind, decent, financially secure men on these sites. You have to screen everyone carefully. First, messaging back and forth on the site, then phone calls, and finally meeting in a public place. Sometimes you meet a decent guy and there is just no chemistry. People have to connect on multiple levels for love to occur.
I have fallen in love twice from guys I met on Match.com. One relationship lasted two years, until he moved out of state to take care of his son who had become chronically ill. He is now in a relationship, but we remained friends. He was widowed and understood how long term, loving relationships work. The next relationship was with someone I greatly respected and admired, who was able to mimic being capable of an emotionally intimate relationship for a short period of time, but couldn’t sustain it. He had been divorced for 13 years and admitted he had had many girlfriends.
I haven’t met the right one yet, but I do have to say that even though my heart was broken twice through relationships that started on Match, I don’t regret it. I had some amazing experiences and memories. It gave me the confidence that even in my senior years I can attract men and the possibility exists for the right one to come along.
In the meantime, I go on with my life. I look at it like playing the lottery, if you don’t buy a ticket, you can’t win. It’s the same with online dating. Every once in a while, there is a good one, but you have to have your profile up or you won’t be in the game.
Anyone try jdate? That would be my choice, if I had the money. Which I don’t. I find myself widowed after a 20 year relationship and marriage, Generally speaking, there’s something about online dating that just makes me skeptical. I remember personal ads from my single days. At least with those ads, people had to make an effort to actually write a letter responding to your ad. Does a superficial and effortless medium/method attract people who need everything superficial and effortless?
Don’t be skeptical. I have been divorced for 25 years. 16 + years having share custody of kids and then taking care of my parents who became ill. I have dated a lot and then go for a period of years without dating. After the last year on eharmony and Match I have to say Match worked best for me. But my experience has been that ladies 54- 59 are not ready for a relationship. The last lady said she was not ready for a relationship and we had not even met!! The previous one was on and off again for 6 months. Said she still had feelings for a man she had an affair with after her divorce. So I will try again.
I’m trying again too. Located in Louisville, Ky. You?
I tried JDATE. In fairness, a person’s location may have something to do with success on a site like this.
Here in Denver there were many ladies pictures and profiles that were no longer actually using the site. The selection for me to consider was very small in number. The company tried make it seem lively by E-mailing me if a lady in another state even viewed my profile. This to me was meaningless and intrusive. They do have accessible customer service which i appreciated. After 2 months of getting & going nowhere on JDATE , I expressed to them how disappointed i was and requested my money back as I felt a needle in a haystack would be easier to find. They pro rated my account and did refund a portion of my money, which I appreciated. They like to paint a picture of so called “success stories”. This may be possible on JDATE in NY or Philly, or LA. However, I was frustrated that the number of ladies in my age group on JDATE totaled less than 30. Again, they have been accused of keeping expired profiles up to try to make it appear that their membership is larger than it actually is. At full price, they are pricey although they do have some price drops. I have not tried MATCH yet but in Denver there are probably more Jewish people using other sites than using JDATE. I could not make it work for me. Someone viewing my profile every other week from another state just does not do it for me.
However, like any dating site, there are more men than women so women can always expect high volumes of responses based about 95% upon their photos not their written information.
Wow! From some of the comments, the results and frustrations of either male or female are mirror images! I have only been dating about 4 years and divorced for 15, everyone has a different schedule as to when they are ready for a myriad of reasons. It never occurred to me that may be looked upon as a negative, after separation and divorce work, friends and family were the routines that helped me find myself again. A necessary step I think to proceed moving to another relationship without hauling a ton of baggage!
Always something new to learn. Many times I have thought of giving up, this is so hard a direct opposite to the first time when everyone you met was attractive and ambitious! I do think that someone you share experiences with ages gradually in your eyes and not like my situation of suddenly realizing while I was just living, everyone else had gotten old, LOL! And yes, I did take a good look in the mirror, I am old too! Like everyone, I never expected to be looking or needing a new relationship. Many men my age definitely bought into the cliche of as long as you are trading in, you might as well go for the newest model! It is logical from their standpoint but will not sustain a lasting relationship when it is a onesided one. I’ve been contacted by a fair amount of younger men and while the idea of viewing a dating prospect that hasn’t aged well is not appealing, younger men are not either! I couldn’t imagine anything in common!
So I continue to look, just as everyone for that one needle. Maybe they are out there and maybe not but I am content with where I am and no regrets on taking my time. I would only consider a younger man on a temporary relationship…that one made me giggle! So maybe older men are looking for a younger woman in the same aspect, they just think it sounds better if they say they are looking for a relationship.
My name is William, I will love to know more about you. Please send me an email to enable us get to know each other. firstname.lastname@example.org
Hello All, I have been hit by the scammers too, way to many times, even when “my guard is up”. I hate those jerks and thankful that I learned with reading about their devious manipulations. Each one of us is desiring a relationship but thank heavens we haven’t been physically hurt or stolen from. I truly believe there must not be a way to escape this situation. Heck, I took a several years break and it has just become worse.
I hate the lonliness, feeling somewhat helpless and hate that at this stage in life we are having to deal with these CREEPS.
Getting to try online dating for the first time,whom ever interested in getting to know each other,kindly respond and we can take it from there,hoping to hear from someone soon
The free dating sites are better since most of the profiles in the fee-based sites were placed by non-payers just so they could conduct profile searches. Nowadays you’ll do better by texting someone who then can request real time photos and you the same.
our Time is not a good site. Very cluttered, redundant automatic responses ( like photo, flirt etc etc). Worst is that they let people post a profile with no picture. Takes a lot of time to delete the duds. Also a lot of creeps with inappropriate internet names which I won’t repeat here. Expensive – $29 a month. So not worth it!
I am from Uganda and I am 58 years. I have visited some of these sites but I have not received good response. I am sure so many women from Africa have painted a very back picture of Africans.
I am a decent woman in full time employment and I am just looking for a soul mate especially as we grow old we tend to get so lonely. I am looking for a mature gentleman whom I can laugh and share with. I enjoy listening to country music.
I received responses from men who are younger than me and that is not what I was looking for. I tried reaching old men of my age but all of them want ladies who are between 18 – 25 years old.
Daphne I totally agree with you. I myself just turned 66 and looking between 60 to 70 but I was shocked the first time I saw a 64 yr man looking for 18 to 35 yr range and now I see it all the time. How they even consider that age. Compared to us they are looking for a child. That’s pretty sad to be that afraid of aging that they need someone barely out of their teens to make them feel young. This is why women say the decent men are taken cause there’s so few left. The thing about these types of men is they are going to get a sad wake up call when they finally realise that these young women are not going to spend their life with them, short term only and that’s if they can get one. We don’t need men like that anyway
There is nothing wrong with being short. I a 5’4″ and I would prefer a shorter man myself. Travel. well I love to go camping and that can get a much less financial killer on your pocket book. I am an animal lover I have two younger Siberian Husky’s and find myself taking the dogs and myself up the street to the dog park. Most of the the guys at the park love dogs too but I have met a couple of duds but who doesn’t. I am a real animal lover and have been a widow for 20 years. That doesn’t make me weird. I just live alone with my furry babies who talk Husky. I live in So Ca and wish I was somewhere up in the mountains. I love pine trees. I am a polite lady who believes in God and has a very good relationship with J.C. It sucks being alone but so be it. Maybe someday I will meet someone who likes the outdoors as much as I do. Love long walks on the beach with an intelligent man to talk to. I am looking for that special best friend that I had with my husband years ago when we were young. No drinking for me or drugs just a good lady that has good manners. If you live anywhere by me send me a note and maybe we can get to be good friends and who knows. I won’t send you any fake pictures. Maybe one or two of my fur babies. Huskies are very beautiful and talkers. But so am I. Good luck in your search for that good best friend.
My name is William, I will love to know more about you. Please send me an email to enable us get to know each other. email@example.com
OURTIME is not expensive. I joined 2 months ago for a six month subscription of $44. It seems that people pay different amounts for OURTIME Regardless of paying little for it, it is laborious, frustrating, & barely worth any price. Oh, I must add that I am male. For females dating sites in general are quite different. An average looking female will receive compliments & numerous introductory messages from men. Some of the messages, I am told, are lewd or just plain poorly written. However, they also receive numerous messages from gentlemen like myself. Most women because they are in demand on these sites, will ignore the vast majority of messages, regardless of their quality. Men will be scrutinized and rejected more than in regular every day life.
There is a need for help meeting others for dating in my age group, 60’s. That said, it seems none of the sites really have you in mind. They practice deception to gain your money and that is their only bottom line.
Now as a male you can be persistent and you may be fortunate. I met a lady and dated her this afternoon. It was nice and has potential. I did not give up with all the illogical rejections I have to experience. As women are less in numbers on these sites the sky is the limit for what they want. Many women, knowing they have “female priviledge on dating sites, want men 8-12 years younger than they are. A 74 year old woman messaged me this morning telling me that she & I should get together. I am 9 years younger than her and I am in top shape. Go figure! You must be a tall man or it becomes even less hopeful. I am average height so I am aware of this.
OURTIME? it might work. No guarantees, little logic. I would not recommend it. They are only about bringing in money. They are not service oriented.
I have was married for 17 yrs and divorced now for two years. I have tried most of these online dating sites (Zoosk, Okcupid, Ourtime, SeniorPeoplemeet, POF, etc). I had done a decent profile with decent pictures and verified myself on some of them. I contacted a few people who were nothing like their pictures. I discovered that alot of women like to post pictures that make them look 15 to 20 years younger then they get upset when we men are surprised when we actually meet them. My advice is if you don’t want disappointments then be honest with your profile. I also noticed that short men such as myself (5’5″) get very few responses. Even if a woman is only 5’3″, she still prefers guys that are over 5’10”. Totally unfair. Another thing I noticed is that the majority of American women want to do alot of travelling which I cannot afford to do with today’s economy. Even though I am gainfully employed and a retired veteran, I still cannot afford to travel to Europe or extensive traveling by plane. So that alone eliminates over 30% of the women I would have liked to date.
I don’t smoke, I am very fit, honest and caring but today that’s not enough. For those who are tired of no responses on dating sites, you can try the meetup.com options of activities to meet other people.
I would just like to express that as far as the traveling aspect that you mentioned, I think for example traveling to France or Eastern European countries is something that should be held for later on as a relationship is extremely serious, possibly marriage, that being said I think it would be a we thing and it would be the responsibility of the relationship to have the financial means to do such things, otherwise I would think traveling locally would be more than sufficient. There are plenty of places and things to see within the United States. As far as the height status, I am 5’3″..I personally prefer those who are more my height then having to look straight up to the ceiling or crawl up on the latter for a kiss, you cannot change your height nor can you change your age, I personally have come across The opposite where only men seem to want very tall women . I applaud you for trying these dating sites, I believe it takes a lot of confidence and alot of guts. Myself I have not done so but I would recommend that possibly you find more sites and don’t give up, there is the lucky person just waiting for you they just have not found you yet., It could be as simple as for example myself , That I simply have not gotten to experience the on-site dating thing yet due to being shy or fear that it might be a scam . And saying this I would ask you a question what dating site or sites would you highly recommend versus others?
It’s sad that no one will give a man, probably a good man, a chance because of height. Suppose everyone has a criteria-getting to know someone first, should be first.
Hope you’ve met someone by now and are happy.
I have taken a break from the online dating scene. Seems like at times I keep attracting women who I later find out are married. Needless to say I am taking a break and focusing on me. (Isn’t that what a lot of women do?) Anyway whenever I feel ready to date again, you the online sites I would prefer are Match.Com or Zoosk. Pof.com is ok but the majority of women on that site are from San Antonio, Tx. (Too far for me).
For Austin, Tx there are too many young college folks here so it can limit choices for mature men like me.
As a fellow male you make perfect sense. In real life I don’t think women are that hung up on height. However, with numbers in their favor, women want it to be just perfect, as they are all entitled. They want an alpha male to tower over them, their mythical hero should be protective of them.
They have wonderful places & restaurants they want to go to on dates. However, they have no intention of helping to pay for anything, that is the guy’s role. They need their money for fashionable clothing & shoes.
I tried internet dating. Could not appeal to attractive ladies. I did meet and date some nice ladies but they were not attractive. They still had their choice of men it seemed. I am now going to save myself the grief and remain alone. Probably not, cannot count on it, but maybe , just maybe, I will meet a lady by chance or someone will introduce me to someone. If the lady is not on internet sites, she may then be realistic, & turn out to be compatible with me.
I have to say not all women are that way. There are some of us that are good. I find the same thing on the women’s side. Men are looking for that woman with a perfect body, perfect hair, and perfect make-up and nails and don’t really bother to find out what kind of a person they really are. I don’t consider myself ugly, yes a little overweight, but I think I clean up pretty well.
When I first start seeing someone, I think he should pay but after getting to know him I am willing to pay. It is hard to know when to offer to and when not. Some men are offended by the woman paying.
I try to keep it real. If you start out under false pretenses, then it undoubtedly end.
After reading all the comment on this site , I dont think I want to try the dating site .. I am 59 years old man , widowed ,I’m a very dependable person who is caring, sensitive, kind, considerate, a good genuine person. I have a lot of love in my heart for the right person. I’m very romantic, love to cuddle, hold hands, I have a lot of passion in whatever I do. I feel it is very important to keep the romantic fire going in a relationship. If you think we can get along kindly get intouch on jjderickk at g mail .. Will be waiting ..Derick
It seems that experts are out there rating dating sites. However, their flowing reviews are vastly different than those who actually have experienced the sites and used them. Blogs & forums about the sites are generally negative with stories of corruption, deceit, & general frustration. However, we know that people who do reviews tend to be critical and maybe not bother to review if something works well.
I have experienced online dating and feel I can be objective & real about a couple of the sites.
As a male, and I am 64, these sites are difficult to have success with. It seems that many more males are on dating sites than women so ladies can be extremely, & in many cases, unrealistically selective. A fellow can initiate numerous messages and for the most part, be ignored. A man’s height and image of being highly successful seem to be the biggest lures for the ladies. A man’s sense of decency, intentions, integrity, may count for little if he is only of average height and has modest assets in terms of possessions.
Ladies , again, due to the imbalance, hear from numerous men, and therefore are in total control.
Plenty of Fish: a free site and worthless. The ladies look nice and there are many seemingly on the site, but men will overwhelmingly be ignored. I tried it and would never consider it again. The profiles may be old or fabricated.
OURTIME: many users report corruption from the company itself, I have not experienced that. I am finishing up a 6 month membership with them. The rates are reasonable. Again, for every 15 ladies you contact with thoughtfully crafted, sincere messages, expect to hear back from 2-3 ladies. Then , due to the competition, communication with a lady can very easy come to a halt with you wondering why this is so, where did she go? I did meet a couple of ladies from this site but disappointing considering my efforts.
Match: I have not tried it yet. However, I previewed the ladies on this site. They appear very nice, but I have seen that before. I did notice however, that quite a few of the ladies about 60 yrs. of age, state that they are seeking a fellow in the 40- 55 yr. range. Why is this so? Again, it points to the numerical imbalance favoring the ladies. Again, they can be demanding & shoot for the moon.
For the record: I am of average ht 5’9”, well traveled & educated. Decent looking & in excellent physical shape. I am financially and emotionally responsible. That said, the odds on dating sites count against me and make success a needle in a haystack. It is difficult for men and I am sure that females have their own issues such as security.
In life, career, etc. I get along with ladies just fine. On dating sites, being ignored, lied to, deceived etc. is something I am no longer going to subject myself to.
I tried match and it is a waste of time, talk about unrealistic. First of all I smoke and almost all were non-smokers but would take a smoker, if I didn’t smoke I wouldn’t want someone who does. Second, I can’t even count how many men in their sixties are looking for an 18 to 25 yr old. Really? That’s as unrealistic as you can get, very disturbing. I thought we women as we get older must be the problem but those types of men, and there are plenty definitely have and are the problem. So dating sites may work for a few but for the most part I would say no.
Has anyone tried seniorpeoplemeet.com?
Yes, and I got scammed, that’s all I will say!
Please contact me urgently.
Phil, you sound really nice and sincere. Why I’d date you??I’m 62 and want s man near my age so we have more cultural things in common I appreciate that you took the time to write your post
I disagree with you Phil. I have just started with these dating sites about a month ago and am already turned off by all the fake profiles. The men that I have corresponded with have not been anything to write home about. They don’t seem to put any effort out to meet a nice woman. The last jerk (and yes he was a jerk) completely forgot that we had made plans to meet only two days after we talked. When I sent him a text confirming, he responded with I completely forgot all about it. If he changed his mind, he should have been a big boy about it and been honest with me. Instead his reply made me feel awful. I wasn’t important enough to remember to meet for a cup of coffee? And this is a man in his 50s. I thought guys would have grown up by that age. I’m a nice woman, not bad looking with a lot to offer and it seems to be the impossible to find a nice, honest guy. Well, probably not on these websites.
I partially agree with you in most areas. I turned 72 in July and after a 46 year marriage, ending in his death, I finally put my self out there. I dated a few, not so interesting men, and then I met the one. After 6 months I realized he has Alzheimer and his family moved him back home. Several months later I met a real heart breaker. We dated for 10 months and I fell head over heals in love with him only for him to go back to his ex-wife. I just don’t think I can put my self out there again. I’m in excellent health, not too bad looking and the loneliness is awful but I just don’t think it’s meant for some of us to be happy again.
During these months I was on 3 sites and didn’t have too many stupid contacts. A couple hoping I was a cougar and some that just didn’t seem real. But on E-harmony……….there were none in my area which surprised me. Match.com was ok and Plenty of Fish was a real laugh but that was the where I met my new love. You just have to week-out the fake, I guess. Anyway, good luck. I think mine has run out and I just need to move on. J
You may be right, Joan….though, for me, who is not so good with being 66, and alone, it’s very hard to resign to the fact that there’s nothing more left. No companionship, enjoyment of life with another. But, I’m not a model and have health issues…I would hope that wouldn’t disqualify me…Especially on a SENIOR site…My husband left 6 years ago, after we had a very loving, connected relationship for 17years
he has dementia, sooo sadly, and I’ve found, that everything doesn’t play out like the Notebook movie…Anyway, I don’t know WHAT to do in regards to joining a site. I’m kind of scared and don’t have much of an income , to afford what some of these sites seem to want. Any suggestions ?
Joan it doesn’t take a man to be happy
I cannot speak for all males. I do know & can imagine that there are jerks galore out there.They do not know about manners or how to properly respect women. Sorry you experience this.
However, my being polite and honest may be setting myself up to be deceived, as ironic as that may sound.
I’m considering joining on a dating site but have just started to do some research.. would you mind giving me pointers to this? You seem pretty well educated in this area.
Hi Phil I know how you feel. I had a birthday while on one of the sites and no one said “Happy Birthday”
Locations would be nice here. We could stop wasting time with people from demographic areas that are out of reach. Yes, I know, planes go everywhere, however, I need to be on land first :). Where are you Phil?
We women also experience a degree of frustration with online dating as well. I’m 54, have a successful career, well educated. Yet I’ve not met but a couple people in person. Why you ask women want 40-55, sex. I didn’t like our time either. It’s a shame you have to waste time and money to figure that out. Where are you located at Phil??
I am Phil, a disillusioned fellow who tried internet dating. I have been honest with ladies but in a few instances have been met with deceit and fabrications.
A lady tells me I seem like such a nice fellow but she has met someone she wants to give a chance to. They have had 3 dates. However, this lady, and it has happened twice to me, remains on 2 dating sites for months.
In both instances, I wish them well and say the fellow they have chosen is a lucky gentleman. I strongly believe they are just fabricating this new relationship that they mention to me.. Why would both of these ladies keep their profile up if their story were true?
Honestly, I have heard other stories too. In regular life, I really do not encounter people being as deceptive, evasive, or inconsistent. I do realize that women may have security issues with internet dating, I do understand that reality and it may be contributing to people being deceitful, male & female.
As someone asked, I am in the Denver area.
I had the same done to me and I believe that telling you they met someone else is a way for some women to reject you nicely. They don’t want to explain why because they don’t want to hurt your feelings or because they don’t want to reveal how shallow they can be. So they fabricate the story of meeting someone new.
I know that many of these women connect with multiple males at once because it boosts their ego. I had connected with a few who would ask me a question and I would reply only to wait for them to respond for over an hour to answer each time due to them corresponding with other men.
Whenever this happens I tell them the same thing, that I met someone else because if they don’t focus on you then it’s not worth it.
I would love to meet someone around my age, that is not tall, I have tried these sites and my picture was on there, which is a true picture, not someone I am not, and got a like of replies, that my picture was great it really stood out, but it didn’t matter anyway, I got replies from out of state and even when I said in my profile, do not contact me from out of state, I was looking for someone in my area, they don’t read it, thats the way I take it, I am very young at heart female, and do not look my age 69, which I am told, but to find someone like me is hard
Why reject me “nicely” when I am a quality, decent gentleman, only to remain on these dating sites to hold out for Mr. perfect. It does not make sense. Are they delusional? Are they all entitled to meet a CEO, 6’4″ who is a perfect gentleman? Is there enough men like this floating around on dating sites, that a fellow like me is easily discarded. if so, why as I said, do they remain on sites month after month?
I am realistic. I know how important aesthetics are on dating sites. I try to communicate with ladies who would be in my league. However, dating sites give the ladies the advantage. However, i do realize that ladies have issues regarding security, I do get that.
i have read all of these words and must say agree with almost all. i do not even go on these sites. i am 67 but look fabulous, am an international artist and the one thing i want to say is i can not believe that there is no option saying ” woman looking for woman or man…it does not matter. someone kind, intelligent, open minded, loving …who cares what sex the being is….what a limited world i have to be thrust into….
i love beauty…inner, outer any kind of beauty. it is very difficult for me to live in a world that is literally upside down and inside out. ya…i can relate to greta garbo whole heartedly. it sucks when you want to love someone and there is no one to love. hmmmm
As a 62 year old woman, I find it near to impossible to meet anyone even remotely within my area who ARE someone I would like to get to know better. I care nothing for one night stands, nor friends with benefits people. I just am not that type of person. However, after being married only once for 23 years, and divorced for over a decade, I guess I am realizing how tough it is to grow old “alone.” I’m not looking for anyone to take care of me. I can do that myself. But a nice companion for dinners and movies would be nice. It seems however that men my age want someone in the 35-50 bracket. Who does one trust? At this point, after e harmony, Match.com, I don’t have a lot of faith in these dating sites.
I totally understand your comments.. I paiid Our Time 6months met one man and after month talking.. Time to meet!! He did not look ANYTHING like his pics. I was so shocked after xoffee I never spoke to him again… So many years younger pics they post… Be honest post current pics.
What is your location ?
Hey everyone I was on Our time 3 different times and all 3 times met great guys or so I thought the first only lasted a couple of months he wanted to be possessive.
The second one lasted 8 months I really fell for him then found out our relationship had been based on lies and deceit
Then the last one ended about 3 weeks ago after talking on the phone and texting each other every day I found out he wanted me to send him money
Lord what is wrong with this older generation why can’t we be honest and open with each other ,life is short guys why do you have to lie you will eventually be found out
I have enjoyed reading everyone’s comments on this site but it reinforces my idea that the internet is not a good tool for meeting anyone. If there is a chance for hurt, deception or broken promises from someone you don’t know, why risk it.
I have decided to reenter the dating game after 15 years of keeping silent and to myself with family. I just woke up one day and decided at 66, I want to meet a man that has similar likes and dislikes as me. I have a small farm that I dearly love working on and grow all my food, including chickens. It is almost impossible to find a man that likes this sort of lifestyle, much less wants to be involved in it. The perfect partner for me would certainly be a small farmer that loves the soil and works it with love every day. He would also have to like salt water fishing because next to the soil that is a big love of mine as well.
So it is not going to happen for me unless I take the time and pursue this in places where farmers and fishing are prevalent. Therefore, I will begin to go to those farmer days and outings and I will spend lots more time at the beach fishing. If I meet someone special that is great. IF I don’t, I have gotten out and enjoyed myself trying. :)
Good luck to everyone looking and be safe always. Don’t fall for those silly lines that make you think they care and always be independent in your thoughts and actions.
Hi Linda, thanks for your comment. A while ago we wrote about a dating site called “For Farmers Only” — in fact, a dating site for farmers. Take a look, maybe you’ll have more luck! https://seniorplanet.org/looking-for-love-later-a-dating-site-for-farmers-finds-traction-in-the-city/
Linda I totally identify with what you said. In up state NY my options are almost non existent Love to fish be in the oods and grow things .yet alone .
As I read your comment,I felt a little ftustrated.I have the same comments about these sites as everyone else.I was on Farmers Only for several months and experienced much disappointment.
I am a retired rice farmer but still have a small cow/calf operation.In my profile,I stated who and what I was and that I desired to connect with woman who enjoyef rural life.Truly believe most women on that site were looking for a dtugstore cowboy with a new shiny truck.
I try to be conservative in grading myself “average”,raised “old school”,and still work fulltime.None of the women on Farmers say they wanted to meet a man with rural roots which I found rather odd.I wish you luck if you should try “Farmers”,and remember,there are quality men left out there just as there are quality women.You just have to keep turning stones.
I was wondering if you were hiring ? Id like to work on your farm
Strange but unlike most comments here I have found the dating sites overwhelmingly populated by cougars. The 61 yr old female looking for 25 to 50 yr old men. I no longer frequent any of them since most ladies never respond to any show of interest but keep coming back to view my profile but never leaving a message at all. One thing I am not looking for is more frustration in my life.
I AM NOT A COUGAR AND CAN NOT MEET ANYONE NORMAL, WE MEET FO RLUNCH OR WINE, AND THEY DON’T COME BACK BUT JUST KEEP SEARCHING FOR A 10, AND THEY ARE MOSTLY OLD, UGLY, AND IN BAD SHAPE, THEY THINK THEY WILL LAST FOREVER, WAKE UP YOU MEN I AM A RETIRED FORMER MODEL, ETC WIDOWED, ON LONG ISLAND INDEPENDENT AND WOULD LOVE TO HAVE A COMPANION FOR TRAVEL, DINING THEATRE, ETC ETC. IF ANYONE READS THIS CONTACT ME AT SIX THREE ONE, FIVE ZERO SIX, SIX ZERO FOUR THREE AND LEAVE A NUMBER AND MESSAGE. CECE
You live in Texas, which city?
Your message is exactly how i feel. Im your age. Still full time employed and self sufficient, divorced for over 12 years. Not interested in sleeping around. Just want companionship for events, listening to oldies music from the 70s, trips and just exchange experiences and laugh a lot. But looks like there are NO men going for that. Ive decided to just join cultural, gardening and volunteer groups where I can meet people face to face. Good luck!
It’s a jungle out there. However, this article is extremely honest and well written. You have to keep safe and keep playing. Lots of people I know are now part of a twosome. It does work.
Couldn’t figure out how to make a comment other than go through ‘reply’ so apologies! I don’t recommend ‘OurTime’ – today I looked at the category ‘my flirts’ and, as I’ve heard others complain about, there were entries that I had not made, to people in whom I had zero interest. So sometimes simply clicking on a profile shows a ‘flirt’ result. I’ve read from one subscriber that they had changed his profile info. I can’t figure out how to make criteria choices enough to, for example, eliminate smokers. Word search isn’t reliable. Don’t bother.
Oh Really am new to all this i have also meet a lady that posted her old pictures when she was young .
Dennis Braun what part of the U.S. do you live in? Thanks, Connie Bennett
After reading some of the shared comments, I would like to add my two cents worth. It does seem to be challenging to meet quality people (for me -men) that would like to have q good relationship with a good woman Their mouth or pen is moving.but nothing substantial is coming out. . What is wrong with getting to know a person first? Finding out if you like each other enough to forsake others and try to see if you two can make a go of it? This takes time, a certain amount of commitment, honesty and knowing of one’s self. At our age we should have experience enough life to know what basically is negotiable vs is nonnegotiable. Why try to be and act like you are in your 20’s when you are in your 60’s. How about being comfortable with not only who you are, but where you are in life? No, I am not talking about sitting all day in a rocker and playing dead. But , enjoying life with whatever disabilities, lumps bumps, etc. you may/may not have now. It does seem challenging to find that special someone that is willing to accept you as you are “warts” and all. I
Whatever happen to old fashion values/ being concern about each other?being family as well as couple -oriented?
Now a days-there seems to be more inference on sex than anything else. Sex-when has that ever determine the value of any relationship? Don’t get me wrong-everything has its place-but sex is one thing verse valuing true intimacy -is all together different. . Many people (old and young) want to rush to “do it” and don’t even know each other’s last name-Why?? Whatever happen to wanting to get to know one another? Which can lead to true friendship and companionship. Do you remember when you could talk to each other about everything and nothing-but still enjoying just being together? How about when you were looking across the room at each other , and sharing that special smile -that special look that said so much?. Yet to others, it said nothing-but to you two ahhh-it was like a secret code that only the two of you knew.
Call me what you want, but, I think I’ll wait until…. .
I agree with you Lynn. Morals and values are gone pretty much!
Well, Steve Harvey always says the 90 day rules applies to everyone. I realize at our age we don’t have all the time in the world , but we can wait 90 days.
Yes Dorene I agree with you as well. I love Steve Harvey and own both of his books on relationships. What he is saying makes a lot of sense. Men should earn getting the “cookie” and we as women should not give it away. I was in a very bad marriage for 26 years that was hard for me to get out of as my ex was abusive in very many ways. Since I have been out in the dating world I find that everything seems to have changed. But after 26 years I was sure it would be. When I left my ex and found a gentleman who truly was a gentleman and waited to approach me about being intimate. It may have not been the 90 days but it was a while and we dated for four years. Since we broke up unfortunately I of little self esteem thought I should give the “cookie” away to keep a man interested. Not a good idea and it didn’t work. So now I hope that I can find someone who would at least give the relationship time instead of hopping in the sack. I see a psychologist because of my past and let him know of what I am finding in this new world of dating. The bottom line is men and there are women as well are not respectful of one another anymore. It’s really a shame and something that makes me want to give up at times. I wish everyone well with their searches and may God bless you .
What a well written post, and I totally agree with everything that you said. What happened to men who respected you for the person you are and enjoyed being in your company for the purpose of conversation and connecting mentally? Does anyone believe in companionship or friendship anymore? Perhaps not, it’s all about jumping into bed. And when that’s over the mystery is gone. Men say they want a good woman but that’s a lie. They want anyone they can control or use, or at least that’s been my experience. I’m in my 60’s, still working, pursuing a second degree, looking to retire in a couple of years. Would love to meet a man with honest values and one who is capable of making a commitment. Some men don’t realize a good woman when they see one. Men Do want younger women and younger men want Sugar Mamas! These dating sites have been a joke. Just stumbled upon this site, loving it.
Well I just stumbled onto this site too. I appreciate the thoughtfulness and honesty of the posts here Your post is something i could have said too about women. I think the sad truth is that most people are not capable of having a truly intimate relationship. It seems the older people are, the more it is true. Most people become more rigid the older they get, and certainly more set in their ways, making them less likely to give up the freedom they have as a single person. My ex-girlfriend said about someone she had dated, “He liked the idea of us being together, but that’s about it.” That comment my ex made turned out to be true about her too. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to be with me, it was that when she found out I was serious she simply could not meet me. I think most of us like the idea of being in a loving relationship. What i have found out is that finding someone who can actually show up when the heat is on and wants to be with me, and i want to be with her is rare, especially being over sixty.
Having a personality and mutual respect is what the foundation should be for any relationship regardless of the age of those involved. It is unfortunate that self serving agendas (sex & money) create issues that prevent folks from establishing long lasting relationships. It is true that the men are seeking sex…..and the women want the money to be spent on them with the hope that the man might get lucky….so to speak. Just be honest if u want a friend with benefits then let the guy know. If u are not into the guy, pay your own way on the date and move on down the line. No gentleman wants to be considered as an entertainment center at this point in his life and would hope that the woman in his company actually enjoyed his company and was not simply with him for A Night out and a free meal. Of course, it is my belief that doing the everyday things of life….. Will let us know if we are compatible with one another…. Sitting across from you at some restaurant tells me nothing about you except your table manners. For me at this stage of my life …66….and before it has always been about the personality and respect, if those are in play then all the other parts that go into a successful relationship should follow. Best of luck to each of you….november2015
After reading some of the comments about online dating sites I would like to make a comment about Plenty of Fish. I thought it was a really good website until I got kicked off because all of my emails from them kept going in my spam. Try to get back on there and it is next to impossible. Technical support. I have written to them several times to see if they could help me get back on. I also read other people’s comments in the forum section for which I for some reason I could get back into. The scammers are everywhere on all of these sites. I never answer anyone that doesn’t live close to where I do. I was almost scammed 3 times I am ashamed to admit but they are very devious! I am 61 years old and find that most of the men I talk to have nothing but sex on their mind. Don’t mean to be stereotyping men but that’s what I get! They don’t want to meet for coffee or whatever first they want sex on the first date. I think our world is going to hell really quick. It is very depressing and I wish there were more honest people on these sites and not jerks! Needless to say I am still looking for a good man. In March when I officially retire I think I am going to start looking at activities through churches and community buildings to try to meet people. It seems to me that would be the only way to meet someone as I am not a bar hopper or nor do I go to clubs. Good luck everyone on finding your soul mate!
Connie Bennett there are still good men out there I was married for 27 yes myself and did everything a man suppose to do for the women he loves but after the kids were grown an on their own SHE wanted to be free to do whatever I’m a good hard working soft loving kind of guy that believes in the old way a man should open doors,pull out her chair bring or send flowers leave love note here and there be respectful show her that you love just her (did all that and still got my heart ripped out ) there are good men keep looking and yea its not all about sex but I still like to cuddle on the couch together and watch a good movie I’m 56 but young at heart hit me up I’ll show you what a TRUE gentleman is all about
Kevin Gillham it is good to hear there are good men out there. I am sorry that your marriage ended the way it did. Unfortunately some people don’t realize when they do have a good person in their lives. I have stopped going on the online dating sites. It has been better for me because I don’t need the stress or the games people play. I was diagnosed with another health issue that I have confronted and in the process have lost forty pounds and am doing really well. I know my problems were due to an abusive marriage and now I am feeling more confident about myself. God bless you. I enjoyed your feedback and hope to hear from you again. Take care, Connie
Hi Kevin Same thing happened to me. My second daughter left for college and so did he after 35 years of what i thought a good marriage He every gave me a surprise party in a very prestige hotel in n y c for our 35 anniversary He told everyone how lucky he was what a great wife/mother i was And they two weeks later pick up left just like that Didn’t look back
Hi Everyone….This is the First time I visited this site…. And out of curiousity i read many of the comments and the replies… there seems to be quite a bit of confusion about sex and indivuales ….so I offer the following enlightenments… Reguardless of age, there are many persons who want to have an active sex life and also persons who do not want an active sex life… wherther it’s casual or regular, or long term… It seems to me that if a persons Profile Indicated What Your Preferance is Concerning Sex a great deal of misunderstanding, embarrestment , insulting statements and request would be eliminated… Sex should be viewed as an Extra Reward of all your other mutual activities and joys as a “Couple”…. So …Therefore Petition The Web Site to add a Section into the Profile Data to indicate sexual preferrances etc. .. Until then add your own into your Discription Of your Self that other members read of you…
IE: Not Sexual – Some What – Yes – and just plain NO … ” MAKE IT KNOWN WHAT YOUR PREFFERANCE IS” *** Bob ***
Hello Connie Benette! I agree with you on almost E very thing that you said. If you live near or close to 92672, we can bond and explore .. Thanks and God bless! Armie
Hey Armie! I live in Utica, New York so I think I am quite a distance from you. I wish you the best of luck! Connie
New also and none of this real sounds like it is even worth the effort. However, I thought I would respond enough to say that although it is a good idea to be up front, I don’t think I like to say, Hello, my name is Beca and I sleep with everyone. Thank you very much. I think it more says, well I want to know what I will get for my dollar coffee and of course my one hour of invested time. I hear the women and the men and my view for what its worth sounds like both are a little defensive, with good cause. Maybe both could say something like, “gee I will take a dollar, hour, manners, afford respect/compassion a human right and go meet this person. You may find a treasure or merely a friend. You will have gotten to know another person. Enough said, no lecture intended. Just a perspective. U
Look, ladies, let’s face it. Most men are jerks. There is ALWAYS a reason why men our age (I’m 66) are single. Most men get older but not necessarily more mature. Most men never learn how to be friends (first) with women. Most men are too concerned with sex as if sex is the answer to everything. Ridiculous.
I don’t think it matters what dating site you are on, the nature of (most) men doesn’t change.
I wasn’t looking primarily for sex. I wasn’t looking to find a rich woman. I was looking for compatibility and connection, for communication, for shared interests and values.
If you had read my profile on OK Cupid, if you had answered a few hundred questions, like I did, it would be easy for you to determine that I was a quality guy.
It’s not what dating site you pick. It’s not whether or not you pay for access. What matters is that you carefully weed out the wheat from the chaff. You just have to sort out the frogs from the princes.
Not all women on these sites are prizes either. There is usually a good reason or two why women are single later in life.
I think what our society does in general to men is not conducive to making them good in relationships. Men are told not to cry, not to show emotion, not to be vulnerable. To “be a man.” Few men can ignore this or overcome their socialization.
I was just lucky to be born into a culture that rejects that view of men and teaches respect, if not adulation, for women.
Don’t blame the dating sites. The larger issue is how men get to be the way they are. You know the old saying, about the hand that rocks the cradle can change the world? Well, it’s true.
Just keep looking. There are good men out there, like me. Sure a lot of us are taken, just like a lot of good women are taken. But not all. The time you spend complaining can be better used in searching.
wOW. fantastical. i agree wholeheartedly. glad 2 hear it coming from a male! thnx kalyna
I think that’s a great idea, Bob. Let’s get that 500 pound elephant out of the bedroom at the beginning of the relationship.
Thanks Connie! Wish you best of luck too !
I AM SO LEAARY OF BEING ON THESE SITES AS ALMOST ALL OF THE MEN WANT TO TALK ABOUT SEX THE FIRST CONVERSATION YOU HAVE WITH THEM. WHEN I LET THEM KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT TALKING ABOUT IT ON THE FIRST CONVERSATION, THEY DROP ME. IS THAT ALL THEY HAVE IN MIND? IM NOT HERE TO PLAY GAMES, BUT IT SEEMS ALL MEN ARE THEY ASK ME TO SEND NUDE PHOTOS, SAYING THINGS LIKE “OH YOU LOOK SO SEXY, SO THEY EXPECT MY BODY TO LOOK LIKE A 20 YEAR OLD, BUT YET THEY ARE IN THE SENIOR PLACES LOOKING FOR A SENIOR.CAN ANYONE FIGUR THAT OUT?.
Eunice, I’ve never had that experience on any site! It sounds to me that these are sex preditors lurking on the site and their profiles are probably phoney. Absolutely do not respond to them; rather, please report them to the site. These guys could be very dangerous.
Not all men are the same may be if you fall on the wrong hand you can’t blame others. There are good and honest people everywhere, some may not be in your location so if you such you have to sacrifice to get them.
Hi, I came from a family that was broken up by a woman half my father’s age. I think for that reason I was jaded at any thought or suggestion towards dating a woman more than 6 or 8 months younger until now that I am at the age when my father left my mom for the younger woman and as much as I would like to stand up for Mom, … my own recent experiences have taught me that there’s a lot more to why these older men are chasing the younger women than I first suspected.
At 53, I know my best sex years are behind me physically but I still have the desire to have my hands on her curves, lips kissing her in the spots that (at least I am attracted to, nape of her neck, as a for instance), etc.
I think that Ladies need to understand that (and I’m speaking in general terms, there will always be exceptions to the rule) but anyways for instance, many women say they are seeking a best friend. Really? Do you really think you are going to find a best friend who is the opposite sex? Best friends become so … because they have same interests, and through the pursuit of their interests they are for lack a better term, thrust together and their time spent enjoying that interest buys time spent with another which then can blossom into a true friendship. Not a lot of women are dedicated to football, hunting, etc, the things that men are often found around. And vice-versa. I have literally no interest in any (mostly always female pursuits) and at my age 53, feel I don’t have the time to spare (waste) sitting through some chickflick, or God help me, worse yet, a musical or opera of some type.
If I am seeking a best friend, then I will look in the areas where I am going to have a good time too. Not force myself to be bored or wishing I was anywhere else, … just in hopes I MIGHT meet the right woman. Reason? Sex isn’t THAT important to me, even though I am a very sexual creature. And by the way ladies, if “getting off” was the main and most important goal, well I don’t mean to hurt anyone’s feelings but none of you are going to be as good at getting me off .. as I am. (more practice and all that). Now to some of you … you’ve already made your mind up that sex is all I am about. WRONG! But the reason it comes up first is because I too, want to weed out the undesirables, and if your best foot forward involves informing me (and seriously, usually its within the first 10 sentences, if you get that many … that “don’t contact me for sex” , “I’m not here for a hook up” etc.
Well now there’s a gal I want to spend day after day with, one who …. before she’s ever experienced what intimacy might be like with me (and that doesn’t mean intercourse, because there’s SO much more to … what eventually SHOULD lead to sex, of whatever version or nature of that shoe … fits the two of your feet). What gets me off is what get’s her off, and the more she likes it, the more I will enjoy doing it. If she isn’t into it, then I will drop that approach faster (or at least as fast) as I would a cold fish who won’t even consider trying my suggestion which I know most women (based on past experience) … really enjoy (or at least they fooled the crap out of me if not).
And I don’t care about the condition of her body as long as she is a clean, into personal hygiene, type of gal. In fact I would have trouble having fun with her if she was perfect, because I ain’t, but I look a hell of a lot better than many men my age. Anyways the problem I have become convinced is the true enemy, is how many women cannot get happy with their appearance, not even to the point of when I am very adamant about how much I love their breasts (I happen to prefer breasts that are saggy, because to me, those are real breasts, perky just makes me feel like a pedophile), and I use that as an example, it could just as easily be their bottom or legs or whatever. Point is that if I say it turns me on … take my word for it! And let go like you would if you DID have that body that you seem to think is SO important to have a great sex life. And we’ll have a heck of good time and you won’t go around with that attitude (which shows on your face, and gives you away even if you are trying to lie about it) that anything to do with the mention of the word sex is something you want to head the other direction from.
Now I have said all that completely aware that most men are emotionally immature, (look at Trump, they beat him up for saying some incredibly sexist, stupid and immature remarks, that he made way back when he was immature, and he likely said those things because he was trying to be “one of the guys”, or to hide his own insecurities, and true, he may have never matured from that point, but then again he may have, but point being that men never admit things like “I might not be able to perform tonight, right now etc), not to each other and God forbid, NEVER to a woman. Stupid? of course, but we are as victim to the nearly unobtainable standards set by media ads, as are you ladies. And sadly most men’s way of dealing with these matters is to make things 100 times worse, by saying or adopting an attitude which protects their egos. I’m sorry Ladies but these are things which are unlikely to stop in our lifetimes. I know its not an answer, just an explanation.
Now having said that, DESPITE our constant concern we might fail as a “man” in your eyes, we DO go on. We do at least try. Many of you women simply won’t even consider any sort of sex that might involve lights on, covers off, or positions which are going to be less flattering than if we (cause men face the same dilemma) were to stay on our backs so our stomachs stay flattened, etc. (I could name the ones which make us men look less flattering but you Ladies know which ones hurt your situation more).
So although we have now reached an age where we can finally explore the lesser-explored areas of sex due to our knowledge and ability to control our “final outcome” (for the me), should we give up on what is just now reaching a stage where we can really spend some time enjoying the fabulous feelings that come with intimacy, just because we no longer look like superman / woman?
What a loss! And I can’t explore that kind of stuff with my best friend. I don’t like the way he smells (a joke for those who can’t spot one when its in written form).
So ya, whether the man admits it or not, and whether he is able to even perform or not, its still about sex. Sorry to say but there is NO woman out there who is going to fit the bill as a “best friend” … better than another of the same sex who has the same interests, insecurities etc. Sadly men are going to continue to act stupidly, immature and there’s nothing but a change in societal attitudes that will ever bring a change in that area. Which ain’t gonna happen in our time.
What makes a woman become a man’s best friend, better than any of his male friends could be to him, is the fact that THAT woman understands that just because he can’t perform that moment, doesn’t mean he’s a lost cause, and because THAT woman also knows the ins and outs of what to do to help the man reach the ability to perform. She knows and keeps his secrets, and he loves her for that because again … sadly in our world today, it is THAT important to a man that he be viewed as a MAN, in full and completeness.
One last thing, if you Ladies started out your sex life with your man doing things that now you won’t do, what do you think that does to his self-esteem / ego, which so greatly effects every other aspect of his life and his opinion of himself. Is it really that great of a mystery why a man might stray (assuming he isn’t one of those who just wants another notch on his belt), because he’s wondering if he is still desirable enough for a woman to want to do those things which you have stopped doing.
Lastly , it is true most or many men are POS. Sorry, but its true and those types will NEVER change because they don’t have any desire to do so.
Well that’s it for now from the sex pervert. I hope it helped increase understanding.
Totally agree with you Steve, even am a woman about your age, but who doesn’t like sex at any age….Is not alive.
If a man and a woman don’t have a great sex then ” best friend” is BS.
And thanks you tell us what men want because we think we know but we don’t know. Would like to know more so can write me at nelykeoyahoo.
after my last comment i scrolled thru other comments on here and their seems 2 b a theme of maltreatment by society as a whole! ive personally experienced it. i believe AARP sold us out a llooonngg time ago. this includes their dating sites! does anyone out there remember the GREY PANTHERS. anyone up 4 reviving it? it was great in concept but perhaps a little 2 “radical” 4 seniors @ that time. i say its time 4 nikes attitude! “JUST DO IT” AGAIN. anyone interested? i hope so. somethings gotta be done! soon. let me kno. thnx
Reviving the Grey Panthers isn’t an interest for me for the simply reason that their agenda didn’t really deal with the needs of aging folks, but dealt with social issues such as supporting a single-payer healthcare system, increasing welfare payments, pacifism, lifelong public education, workers’ rights, reproductive rights, abolition of the death penalty, legalization of same-sex marriage, legalization of medical marijuana, and environmentalism through advocacy, education, and action. Whereas I support most of that, the complexities of such an agenda are too great. What’s needed in our case is finding a way to deal with the huge disparities with which women vs men are treated, especially as they age. For example, it’s now sexy for men to have a “dad bod,” but women are held to extreme beauty standards of how sleek celebrity women look after only weeks of having a baby. In other words, if you don’t look like Twiggy weeks after childbirth, you’re not attractive; or a 37 yo actress being “too old” to be cast as the wife of a 55 yo man in a movie (Maggie Gyllenhaal); or at 45 you’re too old to be cast at all but too good looking to be cast as an old woman. The “youth culture” for woman is a very serious problem in the USA, and this is what needs to be addressed.
APPEARS 2 ME THAT MANY OF THE ISSUES U LISTED THAT THE GREY PANTHERS dealt w/r many that seniors deal w/2day. thnx p.s. i believe that the GREY panthers was 4 we people ho have grey hair? dont kno 4 sure but im gonna google it. ciao
All that counts in this society is money. We have a crass commercial culture that is totally about what you look like, how much money you make, the car you drive, the house you live in, etc.
My woman is gorgeous, not because of her beauty, because she isn’t conventionally beautiful, but because of who she is.
If you don’t like the way things are, do something about it. Don’t just complain.
exactly. thats why im wanting 2 do something along the lines of the panthers. of course we want it 2 b better,etc. reviving it doesnt mean duplicating point per point.obviously it didnt work 4 us. im thinking of a group 4 seniors BASED on their premise. i used that verbage based on their group. this would b OUR ORG. we dont need to COPY anyone! we have too much 2 offer to copy anyone. thnx
whats the deal w/guys on senior sites? they never follow thru. they dont pay attn. 2 what im looking 4. consequently 50 y.o. waste my time. im a young spirited 70 y.o. 55 y.o. is pushing my boundaries but i can live w/it.
Heads up for men who are broke: my dad (54) swooped-in on an unsuspecting 65 year old woman, married her, and became 50% owner of her wealth (he had little). All the while he was a white collar criminal. He finally got caught and went to prison. The state took everything [of hers and his] and considered all assets to be fruit from the poisonous tree. She lost everything.
AARP has 30,50,70 age range yet its advertised as over70dating.com. pls. correct b4 i choose 2 sign up.
I sure wish I could find a way to no longer receive email messages about this thread. I have sent 2 messages to your site, and I never get a reply, and I still get an email every time someone comments. There is no unsubscribe anywhere.
Hi Kkns, we haven’t received any emails from you, but we’re happy to remove your email from the notifications list for this thread.
Thanks for removing me from the email list. FYI….I am with a verrrrry special man who I met through okcupid.com. There are some good and honest ones out there!
If you ladies think you have it bad. I am 71 and a widow. I too, look a lot younger. I have been on our time for only a short time and had several contacts. Three of them I have met. They were nice GENTELMEN. Only one was close to my age. The other two were 80 and 84. But, like of you said, they want women 10to15 years younger. So the way I look at it it’s their loss.
Hi there. Would you mind telling me which side you have checked out.
Almost dread starting all over again with the new site.
I have been on several of the senior dating sites for several months. I finally figured out that men are not interested in women over 60 no matter how good the women might look. Do not waste your time or $$.
I’ve been on the sites for several years, and this is also the conclusion that I’ve come to unless they have financial and/or health problems. Then they are looking for anyone as a nurse or a purse. Very sad how women our age are so disrespected–even by AARP. Look at the women they feature on their covers. All are celebs who have had facelifts and/or other “enhancement” surgeries/procedures. As we age, we are this society’s throw-away women.
You are wrong GG. You might be right in general terms, but I want to grow old with someone who will be facing the same things at the same time as I will. I choose a woman too much older than me, and odds are I will first have to watch her suffer through some horrible illness and then have to bury my love. I choose one that’s much younger and I spend my later years constantly worrying about being able to compete with men that truth be told, I’m not able to do. At least not to the ability I could have, when I was their age.
It wasn’t easy the first time you found love. What makes you think it will be easier now?
I have tried all the date sites and never had any luck.They all tell you what you want to hear and all become lies. Or all want money. No luck with any or them
Free or not, every senior dating site sucks! They claim and advertise things that are not true! How can we, as seniors, who are disgusted and tired of their lies, bring them down? Is a class suite the answer? I’d love to get all my money back I’ve spent on these horrible dating sites.
It’s not just senior dating sites. It’s dating sites in general. I’ve been on several, and after a lot of effort and time (over 4 years) had a few nice dates (and many bad or odd ones), but no love connection. I”m still on one (eH), but about to cancel, after they made supposed “improvements” that only made a poorly run site even worse. Ironically, it seems to be one of the better ones. Virtually all of the sites seem to be run greedy, deceptive owners who do little to prevent fraud and scamming, commit it themselves in their billing practices. All seem to have clunky or flawed matching functions (whether deliberate or not), and other problems, with little if any customer support. Ironically, even sites claiming a religious orientation do this. I was on one small site that was very honest and well run (Science Connection), but they had a very small user base, and went out of business last year. Sadly, there seems to be no large, honest, well run dating site on the entire web. If someone were able to start such a site, I’d think they’d quickly become the largest and most successful, for themselves as well as their users. Getting such a site started in the sea of already dominant, dishonest ones would probably be hard, but if there any honest entrepreneurs out there, I encourage you to give it a go!
By the way, I had to chuckle at some a couple of people who left their email addresses, hoping to meet someone like minded here, after having little luck on dating sites. So, what the hey, let me do the same. I’m an intelligent, honest, active, fun-loving, adventurous 59 yr old divorced man in the N Ohio area, who treats women with respect. I like to get to know a woman before anything else. If you’d like to chat, drop me a line. Thanks, and good luck to everyone. kpaleo at yahoo.
Anyone else notice that, even tho Our Time’s website claims to be for folks older than 50, their recent ads on TV don’t mention this any longer and show young singles. They never restricted membership age anyway, so I guess now they are openly appealing to younger singles.
So, one less Internet site for senior singles, altho Our Time was awful anyway. Even AARP won’t restrict age of members to just seniors. Another black eye for us senior singles.
Dating sites listed above, I used to be on some.. I’ve been on couple of sites.. OK Cupid do not favor me and I deactivated my membership, sick of lies. (Match.com and Zoosk) I’ve got no luck on there also. I got several messages from younger ladies wanting a fling but I needed something more. So we had no chemistry. I’m 57 and seeking a woman btw 50-67. Anyone that would recommend a better site where I can find my soulmate. Thanks.
If you find a good website let me know. I too am tired of all the lies and the requests for money.
There are NONE. I quit trying. Nothing but lies, or fake profiles. It’s a game you can’t win.
I found one reviews site that might be useful for you. http://www.onlineseniordatingsites.com.
I know that SeniorMatch does not allow members below the age of 30. You can take a look and choose the suitable one for you.
I know one review sites for online senior dating
http://www.seniordatingsitesreview.com. It has listed the best 5 sites including SeniorMatch and OurTime.
Thanks! I have tried Our Time and Senior People Meet and have not been real impressed and been asked for money from men on both sites. I am taking a break from the sites for now because it all became to depressing but if I decide to return I will try one of the others.
You gotta love it: Check out the SeniorMatch website. It has a photo of a 30-something woman with a 50-something man. So another slap to senior women. Plus the ages that they allow are 30 years and older. Per their website: “senormatch.com [sic] is specifically designed for senior citizens…” PALEEZE! 30s and 40s (maybe even 50s) are not senior citizens! This is infuriating.
Also want to comment about Our Time. I tried them and hated it because of how it works. Truly awful. And you show know this: Per their website, “OurTime is a service that’s designed for singles over the age of 50 years old.” That’s bunk because they allow any age to sign up. I kept getting hit on by 20+ and 30+ guys looking for a wallet. Gag…. It’s just another single’s site where older men look for younger women… -sigh-…
I was about to look into joining however, I feel discouraged by everyone’s comments
Does it look like everyone around you makes it look so simple but you have a hard time with this idea whenever someone new asks you out? You may be setting about it the wrong method, or you may merely require some dating ideas for ladies that will make the procedure a little simpler. Get tips at
Have tried Match, Our Time, OK Cupid & POF and have been asked for money on all of them. So depressing and frustrating.
Guess we will have to just love ourselves, eydie
I have been on these sites, not for long but, I also noticed that the men seem to want young ladies,
I think it’s interesting that you damn OK Cupid with faint praise. If you are paying money for ANY of the other sites, you are likely wasting it. The folks at OK Cupid have devised a series of questions. The more you answer and the more the people you are looking for answer, the better the suggested matchups.
As an example, I am very close friends with a woman I would otherwise have never met. We are a 90% match to each other. It would be more, but neither of us wants a long distance relationship. BTW she is 60 and I am 66.
As the best example of all, I was already in a committed but open relationship when I found OKC. By being totally honest about what I was looking for – an activity partner – and about my current relationship, I found three lovely women. The first two would have had to be long distance relationships, so those didn’t work out.
The fourth person I met (about a year ago now as I write this) turned out to be the other love of my life. I have NEVER met anyone I am so compatible with.
I’m glad you found someone. I’m also on OkCupid and have been matched with several men who are 85% and higher. ALL of them live long distance, like over 500 miles. How does that help me again?
I’m amazed that OK Cupid is even listed here. I thought it was set up just for scamming. Once my profile was complete, the first 7 men who contacted me were all scammers. That’s right, 100%. I couldn’t delete my profile fast enough.
Why isn’t Plenty Of Fish listed? I’ve had good results there, and it’s a free site.
I’ve been on ALL of the dating sites, one time or another cause mainly I refuse to give up. POF is one of the worst. I was on there the other day, thinking I would put up my profile once again. I did a search and there is absolutely not one guy I’d be interested in. NOT one! All profiles have been on POF for at least 5 years. Not one has been updated, not one. Same old photos, same old blah blah blah. What does that tell you?
I am looking for someone to have an intelligent conversation with. Someone that can make me laugh and just enjoy life.
If anyone finds a great, free senior site, besides OkCupid or POF, PLEASE let me know! I am exhausted with trying and not getting any where near what I’m looking for.
FYI, we’re working on an updated list of sites that includes some new options – pros and cons of each. Stay tuned… We expect to publish it in the next two weeks.
Lots of scammers on OKCupid…
OK, what’s going on? Just joined Singles Over 60 (I’m 69) because most guys don’t seem to want women my age, and I want a guy close to my own age. So the first guy who contacts me on SO60 is 43–WTF? PALEEZE! Why are these so-called Senior single’s sites allowing all ages to join? It’s frustrating enough being an older woman on all of the other single’s sites because of competition with younger women, but we now must put up with this on the senior sites, too. Why? What are the senior site creators thinking?
Hi operasinger, I was also on SinglesOver60. org. But I feel good so far. I was also on other general dating sites like Match etc, that’s where I got a lot of contacts from really young men that could even be my grandson :( But the situation is much better when I am on SO60. Though there is not that much contacts but most of them are serious contacts that I can tell. Maybe there is some patience needed.
I’m with u opera singer! I’m 68 and have not done well on any of these sites at, especially Perfect Match….35 yr olds reaching out to me! Uhhhhh….. NO! If any one knows of a truly focusing on seniors I would like to know.
Hi homentx and operasinger, we just published our updated dating sites list. We have big hopes for Stitch.com. https://seniorplanet.org/best-senior-dating-sites/
Thanks, Barbara. I’ll check out Stitch. I recently joined OurTime and have been hugely disappointed. Again, they let all ages join. But reading email only on their site is a disaster and very difficult to manage in the crush of those who put only something in the Subject line and no message. You also get a flood of really dumb stuff from OurTime, notifications if a guy merely looks at your profile, etc. But worst of all, their Search program is virtually worthless. So I will end my subscription when my 1 month runs out. It’s just not user friendly.
Have you tried Zoosk? It has men your age. Just as in any site, you have to pick and choose who to learn more about.
I’ve done a lot of research on the various single’s sites, and Zoosk has by far the lowest ratings and some really scary comments. Also, I don’t like how they have implemented the profiles. So, in short, this is not a single’s site that I’m willing to risk my money on, especially as a senior looking for a serious relationship and not just casual social flings, which seems to be the purpose of Zoosk.
Zoosk is very expensive, just like Our Time, eHarmony. I need very inexpensive, like $5/mo or less. Free is the best.
I agree. I can’t afford a lot of the dating sites fees. Just because I am retired doesn’t mean I am rolling in the dough. I had to quit my job for medical reasons. And I get a lot of men that just want friends with benefits no relationship just when they need you for a booty call that’s when they talk to you. I was in an abusive marriage for 26 years and my self esteem is low enough. I am under counseling and take medication. The men that talk to me seem to want to just use me also. And I don’t think it’s fair to say if you are single it’s your own fault. That’s not true maybe I have higher standards!
I’ve been on senior dating sites off and on for several years. Out of all the first dates I’ve had, finally met one guy who I actually enjoyed. After 4 dates, he decided to call it quits with no explanation. He wasn’t perfect either, but at least I was willing to try. So, I keep trying, but refuse to pay to find a good guy any longer. And even though I’m still attractive and in shape, being 63 seems to be a huge factor. Most guys my age want a younger woman, even though most of them are not much to look at or have that much to offer. But wanting a woman who’s 15 – 20 yrs younger is ok, right? Yet as soon as a older woman wants a younger man, say 5 or 10 years, all of a sudden we’re Cougars. A word I absolutely hate! Personally, an older man who thinks he needs a much younger woman, has some serious issues. I stay away from players and fakes.
Most men are a-holes, what can I say? When I was younger, I preferred older women. I am 66. I prefer women my age, within 10 years.
Older women know what they want. Older women are sexier.
Generally speaking, if someone is single at our age, there’s a reason for it, and a lot of times the reason is that they suck at relationships.
Look for a guy who has a legit reason for being available. Look for a guy who knows how to treat a woman. Look for a guy who has worked on himself, to become a better person.
We’re out there, we’re just rare. Don’t give up, and DON’T SETTLE for less than what you want.
As my current love says, you definitely have to kiss a lot of frogs. You do NOT have to sleep with them.
You can’t know how someone treats another, who has worked on themselves, etc. until you spend time with them. You can’t tell this from their profiles because many people say things that are not true. The problem for women is our age. It is our biggest obstacle because soooooooo many men want younger women. They simply won’t respond if you contact them, and we don’t come up in their searches.
Plus, the so-called singles websites for Seniors are NOT just for single seniors. They let all ages in. So us older women are ignored there, too. The only website that claims to verify their subscribers is Stitch.com. I have not tried them yet because, frankly, I’m burned out from doing this for several years, wasting lots of money from membership fees, and going nowhere with it.
Thank you Bud for your words. It is too bad there aren’t many more with your thoughts and insight. We know they are out there somewhere, but it is frustrating slashing through the ignorant ones to find the good one.
So you know, the AARP single’s website is not just for seniors and is open for all ages. I was shocked after joining to find that out, and the first (and only) man to contact me is 42 with a 6-year old son. I’ve been on this site for several weeks, and no other guy has contacted me. I’m an active, fit, intelligent, and attractive women, but I’m 69. I’m looking for a man my age, but apparently my age is a huge factor, and I don’t come up in their searches because they want a younger woman. In fact, they don’t even respond to my messages to them. Had the same experience on Match.com. This was the polar opposite experience when I was in my 50s.
I can understand where you are coming from with having to reveal your true age and men not even attempting to look at your profile. I am in the same boat. I look so much younger than my actual age. So what do I do? I hate to lie, but I have to – in order to get the attention of men I’d like to date. I haven’t had a problem with it YET but I have not found the man I would like to spend the rest of my life with either. I do want to say that even though I don’t reveal my true age, the men that are younger than the age I put on the site looks so much older and I feel like they are my father. Truly. So go figure. Even with lying about my age I am still getting older looking men who are fuddy duddy, big bellies all out of shape and here I am in shape, exercise, eat healthy, look very good in my cloths ( I am slender) and look very youthful. I can easily pass for 50 years old if not younger. But I don’t flaunt it. Went to the ER once, gave all my info to the gal. Yet another gal came in to ask my age and I told her someone already had taken that information. She just wanted to make sure that person had it right because I looked no where near what I had put down and it was my true age. I was happy. So gals, do what you have to do to get that man you want. I am almost there. Men lie about their ages too. I call it a lil white lie. And I do tell them on the phone before we meet that I did not tell my correct age.
Thanks for your feedback. I’m in almost the exact situation that you are in. I do not look my age, am active, fit, intelligent, educated, blah blah blah, but this doesn’t seem to matter to men now. But what’s bothering me most is finding out that single’s site saying that they are for seniors are lying because they let anyone of any age join. So there seems no where to find men our ages who genuinely want to a woman their age. Even on the senior sites, they want much younger women and can find them there. Senior sites should have an age floor. Period.
I totally agree. Senior sites should have a way to not allow men under a certain age to register. I am sure they can monitor the postings before posting them. They should also let men know upfront that this site is for SENIOR MEN ONLY. The do the monitoring so there are no surprises. But you know what, I doubt there will be many senior men joining. They want that young gal. Get it. We’re in a sorta catch 22 situation. Youthful and beautiful yet that age number is standing in the way. We all need to think of a nice site that would work well for us youthful senior women and create it together. Let it be FREE to all. Count me in!
Yup, I agree. But also, no women younger than, say 55. If it’s a seniors single’s site, then it should be ONLY seniors.
If I had better website creation skills, I’d put this together myself. But someone needs to address the true needs of senior singles, especially women. We are society throw aways.
There are far more senior dating sites as I know. Most of them are basically the same. You need to pay for a membership to make real contact with other members you are interested in. Actually any luck needed on these kind of dating sites. My friend finally met her current wife on singles over 60.
It might be quite nice, not sure how women would feel about this, but have the dating site strictly for senior women. No men. Men interested in this singles site for women only would surely visit it. It would have to be known that the site is strictly women 50+ seeking men 50+. And broadcast the site all over the Internet. Women sign up for free and MAYBE let the men pay a lil something to see us. We would weed out those that are not serious about a relationship or companionship? Something like that.
I am 65 and would love to find local men my age interested in women my age too. I think your idea to have a women site and the men have to pay to see us us great. The concept is genius! I am just researching which site gets best reviews and dang none of them do. I have known a few from Chrisian Mingle and EHarmony that have found do done and gotten married and 3-4 on Match that have been out several times with different guys so I don’t know.
Go on Oasis.com. It’s a totally free dating site & a lot of members are 60 plus. Just the site for you. Pass it on you’ll love it
wow, ure off 2 a good start! let me kno how i can help! thnx
It s all commercial ,love is commercial ,attraction is commercial , fun is commercial ,when money maters involved how it can be natural ? I tried since longtime ,I can’t find any free site ,tired from all this ,if there is any direct me please . Thanks !
To Jamilfunjoy: Try okCupid or POF. They are both free, but you still need to be aware there are still stagnant profiles and you may receive many out of state or long distance messages. It’s always up to you if you want to respond, of course.
A disaster. I joined POF, met a nice guy. Had chemistry on first date. Lusty. Second date was scheduled. We spoke on phone and he said he was stoned from smoking pot. Well after talking about it in length as I don’t date drug users, we said goodbye but was still going to meet as he promised not to smoke. he text back canceling our date and ending everything. I was disappointed. Pot came between a possible future relationship. Why is he on any dating site?
I’ve been smoking marijuana since I was 19. My current love does not smoke but does not mind if I do. What’s your hangup that this is a big deal to you? It doesn’t sound like he was insistent that you smoke too.
I smoke mostly at night, to relax so I can sleep. Before the operation, I did it to help with lower back pain that was severe.
Some of the best sexual experiences I ever had occurred when I was under the influence.
If someone has an addictive personality it is one thing, but if you’re uptight about a harmless drug, I would say YOU might be the one with the issues. He probably figured out that you are intolerant, and who needs that?
Why is HE on any dating site? Wow. Why are YOU?
I am very disappointed in Dating Services
nor profiles. I will not rejoin this site and
I have cancelled my card so you cannot
I have used plentyoffish (pof.com) off and on for about 3 years. I have never paid and like the fact that you have the chance to do free emailing to all members. It also allows you to sort members in numerous ways……height, distance, smoking/non, etc.
POF is completely free, but there are still so many jerks and losers on there it’s laughable. Most guys think it’s alright to be very aggressive on the 2nd date. Wrong! How about asking me first if it’s alright to kiss me instead of thrusting your tongue down my throat? There are no quality men on these sites. Stay away from POF, Match., OurTime, eHarmony. They are all crap! You’re better off alone.
I too have played around with POF. Let me tell you something, the same men I see on POF, I see them on all the other sites I’ve visited. Leaving me not placing an ad. I feel these men on POF really do not know what they want except that pretty young gal who doesn’t want him but his money. If he has that. Some of them are seeking an older woman as a sugar mama. And those men that are older, want the young but feel horrible because they most likely cannot do the sex thang. Get my drift? Some 50 something have a hard time. So, trying to find a decent man is like trying to find a decent job. When you were looking for one.
Visited several senior dating sites. Nothing is free as the old adage goes!
These sites want me to fill out numerous pieces of information and then it turns out there is no one that lives in my area. Bad humbug.
Looking for something real
Looking for fun
A very good friend of mine is moving to New York in a week and the love Gods have not been on here side.
Does anyone have some suggestions on where she can go to meet people, she is moving to Brooklyn.
recently widowed looking for companionship ,someone to have a nice dinner with, a movie or just stay home and watch tv
I live in Martinsville VA.
I have another great Dating site that I highly recommend… SeniorTimeDating
It’s been really fun meeting new people, the site is very secure and easy to navigate. Every one I have meet has been great.
Only downside is Its not free but pretty inexpensive for the quality of members.
DatingGranny, thanks for your recommendation!
Take a look at their dating site. Supposedly
Desired ages, zip code etc & all the
Site did was “loading” but it never fully loaded & I was not shown any matches in my area.
They do not have it together.
Hi Lisa, we’re sorry you had this issue with the AARP site. We can’t attest to results, but we do know several people who have used it without having any technical issues. After you enter your basic details, the site loads a pop-up window asking for email – ie: registration. It’s possible your connection was slow – or that you have pop-ups disabled in your browser.
pls. dont cover 4 aarp! they 2 r using seniors. they say SENIOR dating then allow 30 y.o.? come on now. use the pot or get off it. u sure didnt respond 2 my issue of a few wks. ago. prob. cuz u have no defense!
Hi Kalyna, thanks for your comments. We are not covering for AARP. In my response to a previous commenter, I said: “We can’t attest to results, but we do know several people who have used it without having any technical issues.” In other words, as far as matches go, we don’t know what kind of results people are having with the site besides the results our writer had, but we are pretty sure there aren’t significant TECHNICAL issues. We did see your earlier comment about AARP’s site but didn’t respond because your comment was not addressed to us so we thought it was for the community in general. It’s clear that most of these dating sites have an issue with people joining who are not within the target age range. One new site for people over 50, Stitch, verifies member identities – including age. We wrote about it here https://seniorplanet.org/best-senior-dating-sites/ Let us know if you try it.
Living in Norway, I , as an English speaker, have been trying to join dating sites where I hope to find English speakers….
But for some reason, if you cannot give an address in England, you also cannot join……
Perhaps you can explain this?
Surely, in this digital age, one should be able
Yes: Match.com is also refusing to let one search..only get norwegian profiles….! Thanks!
I would want someone that is kind, caring, loving, enjoys life, one that knows there is stress in life..but doesn’t let it run her life, one that isn’t afraid to show and express their feelings, someone that agrees to disagree at times.two one eight three three two seven five eight four.. text me you can also email me at greenjuliet 55 with those that come…
Based on your high praise, I paid in advance for a 6-month membership to AARP’s site and have found it to be a total waste of money. I’ve sent messages to some members and none of them show “read” That doesn’t seem possible unless they are no longer active members that were never removed from their database.. I should have canceled within the first 3 days (their money-back period) but since it was holiday time I thought things would improve when everyone was back in town. But it’s just as bad.
I also signed up for OK Cupid for free and it’s far superior.
cmetronyc, thanks for your helpful feedback. The AARP site was fairly new when this article was written but we had tested its non-AARP version, How About We, and found it worked well. We wish you the best of luck on OK Cupid!
sounds like the same old nonsense from other sites using/abusing seniors! were well-seasoned and that doesnt make us stupid.
that’s what happens if one doesn’t delete their own profile before cancelling, also remove auto-renew in settings…
looking for my special lady
Hello, I am looking for a quality gent also but I do not sites. It is so degrading as the older gents want younger chicks. I am 81 and tell the truth but nothing happens. I look younger so maybe I should lie. I wonder if the gent from LV found his lady. Although I would not want to live in LV, just visit.
GREAT article – thanks!
I found that profiles continued to be posted after the subscriber has decided to end membership on OurTime.
I, too, kept getting “flirts” from the company months after I had stopped my 1 month trial.
My effort to stop these contacts was thwarted by their policies. Now I have just blocked all e-mails(and I guess my profile is still showing!)
Irish Eyes, thanks for posting your experience – it’s valuable information!
Irish Eyes, you must go back in and hide your profile or delete it if you no longer want it on the site. Go to help and continue on from there.Commenting on the news review of senior dating sites sign up. Website for dating.